


Sweet Caress

by Panthera888



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:33:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21698542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panthera888/pseuds/Panthera888
Summary: What if Izzy's song 'Sweet Caress' was about him and Axl?
Relationships: Axl Rose/Izzy Stradlin
Comments: 19
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this story while wondering if, hypothetically, Izzy's song 'Sweet Caress' could be about Izzy and Axl. I won't put the lyrics here since they're copyrighted, but they can be found online.

Izzy stared out the window, watching the waves crash against the rocks below. The look on his face was stern. Inside, he was a turmoil of emotions. He couldn’t explain it. That inexplicable tug he felt towards his best friend, of all people. They were complete opposites. Izzy was quiet and contemplative, while Axl was loud and reactive. It should never have worked. Except that it did. Two nights earlier, they had been backstage together, just the two of them in Axl’s dressing room. Axl was quiet for once, letting his voice rest after an epic, 24-song show. Izzy sat down beside him, exhausted. Axl closed his eyes, and Izzy took that as an opportunity to stare at Axl without him knowing it. Or so he thought.  
“I can feel you staring at me. Out with it. Just say whatever it is you’re thinking.”  
When he got no reply, Axl opened his eyes, turned his head, and met Izzy’s gaze. What he saw there was pure hunger. Slowly, Izzy reached out and tucked a strand of loose hair behind Axl’s ear, letting his fingers glide down Axl’s face as he did. Axl shivered. Izzy’s gentle touch had affected him in a way he hadn’t anticipated. Axl’s expression now matched Izzy’s hungry one, and as Izzy leaned in, Axl didn’t flinch or pull away. Instead, he put his hand behind Izzy’s head and pulled him closer. Their lips met, and they sank into each other, fingers trailing against each other’s skin. The kiss soon became heated, and Izzy reached underneath Axl’s shirt to feel his smooth, sculpted chest. Axl hissed when Izzy found his nipple ring and tugged softly.  
“Do that again,” Axl said.  
Izzy repeated his earlier action, more forcefully this time, and Axl moaned. They broke apart and Axl asked, “What are we doing?”  
“I don’t know,” Izzy said, “But I don’t want to stop.”  
After a few seconds, Axl replied, “Don’t move.”  
He stood up and walked over to the dressing room door, locking it, and flicking off the harsh fluorescent light, leaving the room awash in a warm glow from the table lamps. He sat back down next to Izzy and leaned in for another kiss. This time, they weren’t slowing down. Izzy pulled back and grabbed ahold of Axl’s shirt, raising it up and off him. Axl reciprocated, relieving Izzy of his own shirt. They stared at each other for what felt like ages, before Izzy put his hands on the button of Axl’s pants. He shot a questioning look at Axl, who nodded his head. Izzy slowly undid the zipper, and Axl lifted his hips so that Izzy could remove the leather garment. Axl was now completely naked before him, and once again, Izzy took the opportunity to look at Axl.  
“You’re beautiful,” Izzy said. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?”  
Axl blushed, surprising Izzy, then moved to take off Izzy’s pants.  
“Can I touch you?” Axl asked.  
“Yes. You can do anything you want.”  
Axl reached out and ran his hand down Izzy’s chest, coming to rest just above his stiffening cock. After a quick glance at Izzy, he got the confirmation he needed, and he moved his hand lower. Izzy’s cock twitched as Axl ran his smooth fingers over it. He squeezed gently as he reached the head, and Izzy gasped. Izzy put his hand over Axl’s and started moving, showing Axl what he liked. Axl soon got the hang of it, and Izzy leaned in and gave Axl a wet, heated kiss. He reached down and started stroking Axl, who moaned in pleasure. Izzy pushed Axl back against the couch until he was flat on his back. He moved Axl’s legs apart and removed Axl’s hand from his cock.  
“I want inside of you,” Izzy said. “Can I?”  
Axl nodded, spreading his legs apart further. Izzy poised himself at Axl’s entrance, then slowly pushed inside of him, watching every expression that crossed Axl’s face.  
“Holy Mother of God,” Axl said, panting. “Move.”  
Izzy didn’t need any further instruction. He set a slow pace, leaning down to kiss Axl again.  
“You feel so good,” Izzy said.  
“So do you, Izzy. My God, I didn’t know this could feel so good.”  
“You’ve never… with another man?” Izzy asked.  
Axl shook his head.  
“Me neither. You’re so tight. I’m not hurting you, am I?”  
“Not at all. Don’t stop,” Axl pleaded when Izzy slowed down.  
“I won’t. Not until you’re satisfied. I want to watch you come.”  
Axl increased the pace, and Izzy took the hint. He started pushing into Axl harder and faster, until they were both moaning loudly. Anyone walking by would simply think they were sharing a girl. Axl’s face twisted into one of pleasure, and Izzy knew he was close. He pushed as hard as he could now, thrusting his entire cock into Axl. He watched as Axl came, his seed spilling all over his stomach. Izzy let go and came right after him, spurting into Axl, coming harder than he ever had. He collapsed onto Axl, and they stayed that way for a while, lying together on the couch. After a few minutes, Axl moved to get up. He blushed again, averting his eyes, not looking at Izzy. He got dressed and walked towards the door without a word. Before he exited, he turned around and gave Izzy a shy smile.

Now, as Izzy sat there staring at the ocean, he couldn’t help wondering what that smile had meant. What they shared that night had been the most profound thing he had ever felt, yet he had heard nothing from Axl. Just as he finished that thought, there was a knock on the door. He strode over and swung the door open, and found Axl on his doorstep, shivering in the cold night air. They stared at each other for a few moments before Izzy said, “Come in.”  
Axl stepped into the living room and turned to face Izzy.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls.”  
Izzy shrugged. “It’s okay. You’re here now.”  
After a few moments of silence, Axl asked, “Are you afraid?”  
“Terrified. I mean, if this goes bust-“  
“I know. Thirteen years of friendship, gone. And we’d be putting the band in jeopardy,” he replied.  
“I can’t deny what I feel for you, Axl. But what do you feel?”  
“I want you,” Axl said, stepping closer to Izzy. “All of you.”  
Axl gently cupped Izzy’s chin in his hand and pulled him in for a kiss.  
“I’m yours,” Izzy said. “You have all of me.”  
He led Axl to his bedroom and quietly closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

They ran their fingers over each other’s bodies as the morning light cast them in a warm glow.  
“I’m glad you came back,” Izzy said.  
“Me too.” After a few moments Axl replied, “You never told me how long.”   
“What do you mean?”  
“The other day you asked me, ‘Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?’. How long?”  
Izzy sighed. “Since high school, if I really think about it. But I didn’t fully realize the depth of my feelings for you until you followed me out to L.A. Even back then, when I would look over at you on the stage, I would get so hot for you, the way you act like a wild animal up there.”  
“So, I should keep acting like that?” Axl laughed.  
“Only if you want to see me driven up the wall with lust.”  
“Oh, I definitely want to see that,” Axl said, leaning in for a deep kiss.  
“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”  
Axl leaned back and sighed. “I was scared, Izzy. Scared of my feelings for you, scared that I might lose you…I was just paralyzed with fear. But I knew I couldn’t keep you waiting any longer, or I would definitely lose you.”  
“You’ll never lose me. We’ve been through too much together. You’re stuck with me.”  
Axl leaned in again and Izzy rose up to meet his lips. They were tangled in the bedsheets, vying for control. Axl gained the upper hand and settled on top of Izzy. He reached down with one hand and started stroking him, making Izzy moan into Axl’s mouth. Axl leaned down and captured Izzy’s throat in his lips, licking and sucking on the soft flesh there, before moving lower. He trailed kisses down Izzy’s abdomen, making his way from a nipple, down to his navel. When he reached his cock, Izzy moaned. Axl took it in one hand and let his mouth slide down from the tip, almost to the base.  
“Oh, God, keep doing that,” Izzy pleaded.  
Axl continued to suck him with slow strokes, building up the intensity. He looked up at Izzy’s face and saw a look of pure pleasure there. Axl slowly sped up, until Izzy was running his fingers through his hair, lifting his hips up to meet each downward stroke.  
Axl stopped and asked Izzy, “Do you have any lube, baby?”  
Without opening his eyes, Izzy reached a shaking hand over to his bedside drawer, fumbling for the handle and pulling out a half-empty bottle. Axl took it and poured the lube onto two fingers. He took Izzy into his mouth again, making him gasp, before entering him. Izzy let out a whine and thrust his hips up to meet Axl’s fingers. Slowly, Axl started pumping, his thrusts meeting the same rhythm as his mouth. He curled his fingers, trying to find Izzy’s prostate. He guessed he had found it when Izzy grabbed hold of the bedframe and yelled “Fuck!”  
“Did you like that, baby?”   
“Don’t toy with me, Axl. Just keep fucking me.”  
“I never knew how bossy you were,” Axl said before continuing.  
“You have no idea.”  
That statement intrigued Axl, and he filed the information away for future use. He sped up again, sucking harder and applying as much pressure as he could inside of Izzy.  
“Fuck, Axl, I’m close. Stop now if you don’t want me to come in your mouth.  
Axl didn’t stop. He redoubled his efforts and had Izzy coming so hard and so loud that he wondered if the neighbors had heard. He kept going for a few moments, letting Izzy ride out his orgasm, before joining him at the head of the bed.  
“God, you’re good at that,” Izzy said. It came out as a slur, and Axl could tell he was exhausted. “I should’ve fucked you sooner. Look at what we’ve been missing out on.”  
“Well, we have plenty of time now,” Axl replied.  
Izzy opened his eyes and smiled. “Come here,” he said, pulling Axl in for a kiss.

Later that night, they went to a bar far outside of town. Axl was sitting at the piano, working on a new tune he’d had rolling around in his head for a few weeks, while Izzy got them drinks. When he got back, Izzy dared Axl to play something from their latest album, something the crowd would recognize.  
“No way,” Axl said. “I’d like a little anonymity here and there.” His hair was pulled back into a ponytail and he had sunglasses on.  
Izzy had his shoulder-length hair tucked into his hat, both of them hoping for a night out without recognition.  
“What did you bring me?” Axl asked.  
“Beers for both of us.” Izzy looked around conspiratorially. He leaned down so that his face was inches from Axl’s. “Hey, give me a kiss, nobody’s looking.”  
Axl looked around, and when he was satisfied that they had their privacy, he leaned in and gave Izzy a long kiss. They were interrupted when someone bumped into Izzy, making him spill one of the drinks all over himself.  
“Shit,” he said.  
“Hey, watch it!” Axl barked.  
The man who had bumped into them was tall and thin, with long blond hair. He turned around. “Oh, hey guys!”  
It was Duff.  
“Sorry about that,” he said. “I’ll buy you a replacement.”  
Axl and Izzy just stared at him in shock. Had he seen them? What would the guys say when they inevitably found out about their relationship?  
“Are you guys okay? You look pale. You two aren’t back on heroin, are you?” Duff asked.  
“What, no,” Axl replied. “We’re just surprised to see you. This place is kind of out of the way.”  
“Yeah, I like to come here sometimes to party without being noticed.”  
Izzy was still staring in shock.  
“You guys want to join me?” Duff asked.  
Axl nudged Izzy.  
“Sure. Sounds great,” Izzy said, snapping back to reality.  
They found a quiet booth at the back of the bar. Duff signaled to the bartender for another beer.  
“So, what brings you guys out here?”  
“Nothing. Just a friends’ night out,” Axl lied.  
“Is that why I saw you two locking lips before I ran into you?”  
Axl about choked on his beer and Izzy turned bright red.  
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anybody. If I can ask, how long have you two…you know?”  
“Not long,” Axl said.  
“I always knew you had the hots for him,” Duff said to Izzy. “It’s written all over your face every time you look at him.”  
“Oh, God, am I really that obvious? Do the other guys know?”  
“Probably.”  
“You know, you can lie to me now and then,” Izzy said.  
“What kind of friend would I be if I did that?”  
The waiter brought Izzy’s beer and headed off to the next table.  
“I gotta take a leak,” Duff said. “Axl, you want another drink?”  
“No, I’m good.”  
When he was out of sight, Axl scooted closer to Izzy and laid his hand on Izzy’s thigh.  
“Hey, Iz, you want a quickie?”  
“What? No, Axl, I don’t want a quickie.”  
Axl moved his hand so that it was hovering directly over Izzy’s cock. “Come on, I know I can make you come before he gets back.”  
“Axl, stop,” he said, moving Axl’s hand away.  
“What’s wrong with you? You were so happy earlier and now you’re being all pissy.  
“He knows, Axl. They might all know. Everyone in this damn bar could have seen us kissing.”  
“You’re the one who asked for a kiss. Besides, what does it matter if everyone knows?”  
“I’m a private person, Axl. I don’t like to advertise it when I’m seeing someone.”  
Axl lowered his head.  
“You’re ashamed of me.”  
“Ashamed of you? Why would you say that?”  
“Because I’ve ruined every relationship I’ve ever been in. Because I’m the world’s biggest fuck-up.”  
“No, baby,” Izzy said, cupping Axl’s face in his hands. “I could never be ashamed of you. You’re my whole world.”  
Axl looked past Izzy and saw Duff heading their way. He managed a small smile, then gently removed Izzy’s hands.  
“He’s coming back,” he said. He moved away from Izzy a little and took a drink of his beer.  
“I hope I didn’t embarrass you guys too much,” Duff said as he sat back down. “I promise I won’t tell the other guys.  
“Thanks,” Izzy said, and Axl shot Izzy an insecure glance that he didn’t see.


	3. Chapter 3

By their next show date, it was painfully obvious that something was wrong with Axl. He wasn’t his usual self, running up and down the stage. Instead, he sat down for half of the songs and sang quietly. Izzy and Duff kept shooting him worried glances, while Slash and Steven were just perplexed. They had seen Axl upset before, but never like this, never onstage. When the last song was over, they took a bow and Axl scurried off to his dressing room. Izzy followed him and shut the door.  
“What’s going on, Axl?”  
“Nothing. I’m fine.”  
“No, you aren’t. You never sit down during a show.” Izzy sat down next to him and put his arm around Axl’s shoulders, pulling him in. Axl laid his head in Izzy’s lap.  
“Why haven’t we told anyone?”, Axl asked.  
“I told you. I’m shy about these things.”  
“Are you worried what people might say? The names they might call us? You know the guys wouldn’t hurt us like that.”  
“Yeah, I worry. Because I know how sensitive you are, and how easily you get into fights. I don’t want to see you get hurt,” Izzy said, running his fingers through Axl’s hair.  
“I’m already hurt.”  
“I’m sorry, Axl. I know you still think I’m ashamed of you, but I’m not. I swear it. If you want to tell the guys, we’ll tell the guys.”  
Axl laced his fingers through Izzy’s. “You know, I can’t even hold your hand in public, not after Duff caught us. Anyone could be watching, anyone with a camera. If the world found out about us, our careers would be over. Anyone who comes out in showbiz is ruined these days.”  
“Our careers mean nothing to me compared to you, Axl.”  
“But it wouldn’t be fair to the other guys. Their careers would be over too. I hate having to hide like this.”  
“One day, the world will change. One day people will accept us for who we are.”  
Axl looked up at Izzy. “Does that mean you plan to still be with me when that day comes?”  
“Yes, if you’ll have me.”  
“I will,” Axl said.  
Someone knocked at the door and Axl got up to open it with a groan. He swung the door open and saw Duff standing there, a look of concern on his face.  
“Oh,” Duff said, looking past Axl to where Izzy was sitting. “I was coming to check on you, but I see you’re in good hands.”  
“Thanks, Duff. Come on in.”  
Duff pushed past Axl and sat on the couch. Axl joined him. “So, we were thinking about telling Slash and Steven about us,” Axl said, pointing to Izzy and himself.  
“I think they deserve to know after tonight’s performance. No offense,” Duff said.  
“They do deserve it,” Axl replied. “It’s just that, they can’t be telling other people. If the media gets ahold of this, the band could be doomed. This can’t be leaked as soon as someone gets drunk or high,” he said, looking pointedly at Duff and Izzy.  
“I’ve been clean for a week,” Izzy said with a shrug.  
“Don’t pull that shit on me, you’ll go back to doing coke as soon as the urge is strong enough,” Axl told him. “And Duff, you need to get your drinking under control. This whole band needs to clean up.”  
“Oh, so you’re Mr. Perfect? You have one hell of a temper,” Izzy said.  
“Okay, we all need work, but am I clear? This information does not leave our group.”  
“We’re clear,” Duff said.   
“Should we tell them now?” Izzy asked.  
“Might as well. They’re probably pissed and confused,” Axl replied.  
Duff left and came back with Steven and Slash. Once everybody was in the same room, Axl began. “So, there’s something Izzy and I want to tell you.” Axl looked at Izzy for one final confirmation. He got it in the form of a small nod. He turned back to the men sitting in front of him. “We’re together.”  
“Yeah, so? You’ve always been together,” Steven said. “You’re practically joined at the hip.”  
Axl winced at the figure of speech. Steven had no clue how right he was.  
“Wait. You mean together together?” Slash asked, his eyebrows knitted in confusion.  
“Yes,” Axl replied. “For about a week now.”  
“Wait, who else knows?” Slash said.  
“Nobody outside of this room, And it has to stay that way, to protect the band,” Axl said.  
Steven spoke up. “I don’t like lying to people.”  
“Neither do we, but we don’t want something private blasted all over the media, do you understand?” Izzy asked.  
“I guess so,” Steven replied. “You guys are seriously fucking? ‘Cause even as close as you are, I never saw that one coming.”  
“Shut up, Stevie,” Slash said.  
Steven just shrugged sheepishly.  
“So, you guys are cool with this?” Axl asked.  
“Why wouldn’t we be?” Slash replied. “If you two are happy, we’re happy.”  
“Oh, we’re happy,” Izzy said with a smile.

It took exactly one week for things to take a turn for the worse. Axl walked into Izzy’s house with some groceries and found Izzy passed out on the floor. Axl ran over to him and shook him awake.  
“Thank God, I thought you were dead,” Axl said. “What happened?”  
“I’m sorry, Ax. I had to,” Izzy said, looking toward the coffee table. Axl followed his gaze and saw a razor and some white powder. It was the last remnants of cocaine.  
“Damnit, Izzy, we agreed that everyone in this band had to clean up. When and where did you even get this stuff?”  
“I can’t remember,” Izzy slurred. “Damn, I feel good. I wonder if I have more somewhere.”  
“You don’t need any more, and you won’t feel good after I’m through with you. Come on, get up,” Axl said, lifting Izzy up and holding him up long enough to get to the bathroom. He turned the cold water on and gently lowered Izzy into the shower.   
Izzy gasped and wiped the cold water off his face. “What the fuck?”  
“Welcome back. You can stay in there until you sober up.”  
“It was only one fix.”  
“That’s one fix too many.”  
“What are you, my mother?” Izzy asked.  
“Maybe I should call your mother and tell her what you’ve been up to.”  
“Please d-don’t” Izzy said, shivering. “Can I get out now? I’m fucking cold.”  
Axl turned the water off and handed Izzy a towel.  
“Get dressed into some warmer clothes. I’ll make dinner. And get rid of that razor,” he said as he rounded the corner.


	4. Chapter 4

“Where is it, Axl? I know you hid it somewhere.”  
It was two a.m., and Izzy had trashed his house.  
“I don’t have your cocaine, Izzy. From the way I found you, I’m guessing you snorted it all before I even came home.” Axl sighed. “Will you stop that?”  
Izzy tore through the cupboards, letting cans of food fall onto the counter with a loud thump.  
“It has to be in here,” Izzy said. He reached up to the top of the fridge, opened a can of coffee and peered inside. Not finding any drugs, he tossed it aside.  
“Come on, let’s just go to bed already. It’s really late.”  
“Not yet. I just need a little more coke. I have so much stuff to do. I can’t go to bed. I still have that one song to work on. The drugs will help me focus.”  
“They don’t help you focus, Izzy, they just turn you into a fucking zombie.”  
“Fuck you,” Izzy said.  
Axl strode across the room and closed the cabinet doors. “Come on, it’s time for bed,” he said, taking hold of Izzy’s hand and leading him into the bedroom.  
“Maybe I left it in the medicine cabinet,” he said, glancing toward the master bathroom.  
Axl turned to face him. “Izzy, baby, you have a problem. Maybe you should think about rehab.”  
Izzy pulled his hand away. “I don’t need rehab. I need a fix.”  
“Can we at least agree that you need sleep?”  
“Fine.”  
Axl pulled back the covers and got into bed, patting the mattress next to hm. Izzy got in and Axl covered them up, scooping Izzy into his arms with the hope that it would calm him down.  
They laid in bed for a while, Axl’s steady breathing lulling Izzy to the brink of sleep. Just as Axl was about to drift off, Izzy shot up in bed.  
“Did you hear that?”  
“Hear what?” Axl asked.  
“Someone’s trying to get in,” Izzy said, throwing the blankets off himself.  
“Oh, here we go,” Axl muttered.  
Izzy reached into his nightstand and pulled out a gun.  
“Where the hell did you get that?”  
“That gun store up the street. Be quiet.”  
Axl groaned. “Izzy, put the gun down.”  
“Shh. I can hear him out there.”  
With one quick motion, Izzy swung his curtains to the side, pointing the gun at the window. There was no one there.  
“Where the hell did the bastard go?”  
“No one is breaking in,” Axl said. He got up and took the gun away from Izzy, putting it back in the drawer. “Now come back to bed.”  
Izzy got back into bed with a scowl. “I know what I heard.”  
“It was probably just an animal. Besides, you know I would never let anyone hurt you. You don’t need the gun.” Axl wrapped an arm around Izzy and pulled him close again, his other arm reaching up to run his fingers through Izzy’s hair. “Sleep now,” he said.

Axl woke up a few hours later to find Izzy shivering violently.  
“I c-cant stop s-shaking,” Izzy said. “And I ache like a s-son of a bitch.”  
“Do you need to go to the hospital? They can give you something to stop the shaking.”  
“No. N-no hospitals.”  
Axl pulled him in closer and Izzy wrapped his arms around him. “You’re so w-warm,” Izzy said.  
“Let me get you a sweater.” Axl tried to be quick in getting the article of clothing from the dresser. Izzy’s convulsions had him worried. The shaking really was some of the worst he had ever seen.  
Izzy put the sweater on with a mumbled thanks and quickly cuddled back up to Axl.  
“You can’t keep doing this, Izzy. You’ve gotta get clean.”  
“I kn-know. I’m sorry for the hell I’ve p-put you through.”  
“I just want you to be healthy and safe. I don’t want to walk through your door one day and find you dead on the floor,” Axl said.  
To his surprise, he felt hot tears on his chest. “What’s wrong, baby?”  
“I don’t know where I went wrong. This isn’t e-exactly where I pictured myself when I was a kid, dreaming of being a Rockstar. I never imagined I would be a-a junkie.”  
“Then we’ll change it, together. We’ll get you well again.”  
“Promise you won’t l-leave me?” Izzy asked.  
“I promise. Hey,” Axl said, bringing Izzy’s chin up to meet his eyes. “We’re stuck with each other, remember?”  
“I remember.”  
Axl gave him a kiss and they settled back in for a few more hours of sleep.

When morning came, the shaking had subsided a bit. Axl made Izzy’s favorite tea, and they sat on the couch under a blanket, watching the news and sipping their tea. The house was still in a state of disarray. It looked like a tornado had ripped through.  
“I’m sorry I kept you up half the night, Axl. I guess I was really jonesing for some coke.”  
“You were out of your mind. You should really consider getting rid of that gun. You could get hurt if you get high and whip that thing out again.”  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Izzy cleaned up the mess while Axl took a shower. He couldn’t believe the lengths he had gone to in order to score some more drugs, although it could have been worse. He could have been meeting some stranger in a back alley, buying something that could kill him, from a person that could just as easily kill him. By the time Axl emerged from the shower, wearing only a towel, he noticed with delight, Izzy was almost finished cleaning up.  
“What do you say we go out somewhere?” Axl asked. “We could try out that new trail in the state park.”  
“Okay. I’d like that. I’ll pack some snacks. Maybe we could find some place along the trail to have lunch.”  
“I’ll just get dressed and we can head out.”

They tried to be discreet, but those plans always went south. They were sitting on a blanket deep within the forest, just off the trail. It was so quiet, you could hear the squirrels scurrying across the leaves, could hear the birdsong as the birds called out to their mates. They assumed no one was looking. They were lying back on the blanket, holding hands. Axl was tracing the planes of Izzy’s face with his free hand. They leaned in for a kiss, and someone snapped a picture. They didn’t hear it. They were too wrapped up in each other to notice anything that was going on around them. Axl and Izzy just kept on staring at each other, small smiles playing at their lips. The owner of the camera kept walking, hoping not to be discovered. It worked.


	5. Chapter 5

“What the fuck is this?” Slash asked, holding up a tabloid.  
“A magazine,” Axl said.  
“No shit, smartass. Look who’s on the cover.”  
Axl lifted his head and saw a picture of him and Izzy. It had been taken the day they went to the park, and it showed them kissing.  
“Oh, shit.” Axl said.  
“Yeah. You gave us all this shit about getting clean so that we wouldn’t out you two, and then you go around sucking each other’s faces off in public.”  
“I’m sorry, Slash. We tried to be careful. Shit, does Izzy know?”  
“Not yet, but he’s bound to find out soon enough.”  
“Let me tell him.” Axl reached out for the magazine. Slash was still fuming. “Please.”  
“If you two can be lovey-dovey in public then I can still drink and shoot up.”  
“Whatever, Slash, just please give me the magazine.”  
Slash handed it over and Axl went to find Izzy. He found him tuning his guitar in the hallway.  
“Hey, what’s up?” Izzy asked. “What’s that?” he said, pointing to the magazine.  
“We need to talk.”  
The serious tone in Axl’s voice made Izzy stop what he was doing immediately.  
“What’s wrong?” he asked.  
“Let’s find some place more private.”  
As they walked through the hallway toward a dressing room, Axl felt like all eyes were on him and Izzy. Was he just imaging that? He couldn’t tell. He ducked into an empty room and Izzy followed, closing the door behind him.  
“What’s wrong, Axl? Did I do something to upset you?”  
“No, Izzy, I should be apologizing.”  
“For what?”  
“For that kiss in the park the other day.”  
Izzy’s eyebrows knitted in confusion. Axl handed him the tabloid and Izzy’s eyes went wide.  
“How? Who would do this?”  
“We must have been followed by some lousy excuse of a reporter. I’m sorry, Izzy. I didn’t want it to happen like this. I thought maybe one day, if people found out, it would be on our terms.”  
Izzy looked like he was about to cry. He flipped through the magazine to the accompanying article. There were no new pictures, just a blurb and the same picture. Izzy studied it carefully.  
“They took this picture from far away,” Izzy said.  
“I know. They must have been lying in wait.”  
“No, I mean, the picture is blurry if you really look at it, and your hair is covering part of your face. How can anyone really prove this was us?” Izzy handed the magazine back to Axl. He still looked like he was about to cry.  
Axl took a closer look at the picture. “You’re right. I hadn’t looked at it closely enough.”  
Axl looked up and saw tears falling from Izzy’s eyes. “Come here, baby,” he said, wrapping Izzy in a warm embrace.   
“They took something private and made it public. That moment was supposed to be ours alone.”  
“I know. They’re assholes,” Axl said. “Welcome to showbusiness.”  
Izzy leaned back and wiped his tears away. “What do we say when the media starts asking about this?”  
“What do you want to say?”  
“Nothing. I don’t want to have to deal with this bullshit.”  
“Leave the talking to me then.”  
“That could get bad,” Izzy said, knowing how Axl’s mouth could easily get him into trouble.  
“Let me worry about that,” Axl said.   
“I guess we owe the guys an apology.”  
“Yeah, Slash was pretty pissed.”  
“Slash saw this?” Izzy asked.  
“Yeah, he’s the one who told me about it. I hadn’t seen the magazine before he brought it to me,” Axl replied.  
“I’m so embarrassed. Who else do you think saw it?”  
“Hopefully no one. It’s like you said, it was a private moment.”  
Izzy nodded, and they left to do damage control with the guys.

Once their task was completed, Izzy took Axl back to his place.  
“I need coke,” Izzy sighed.   
“Getting blasted won’t solve your problems. This will all blow over soon enough.”  
The phone rang and Izzy picked it up. “Hello?”  
“Hey, is this Izzy?”  
He saw that he had numerous messages on his answering machine. “Who’s askin’?”  
“This is Paul with MTV. Can I get a comment on you and Axl Rose?”  
“Who gave you this number?”  
“A friend of yours. Nice guy. Can I ask you-“  
“He’s not my friend anymore,” Izzy said, slamming the phone down. It rang again. He turned the ringer down, blocking out the noise. With trepidation, he pushed the play button on the answering machine. He had eleven messages from the media, and two from his mother, asking if he was alright.   
“I guess I should call her back, huh?” he asked Axl.  
“She sounded pretty worried.”  
“I’ll just be a minute, then I just want to go to bed,” Izzy said, sighing again.  
“I’ll wait in the living room,” Axl said.  
“No, stay. I don’t want to be alone right now.” He took hold of Axl’s hand and dialed his mom’s number with the other hand. He got an answer on the second ring. “Hey, Mom, it’s Jeff. No, I’m fine.” After a pause, he said, “Yes, it’s true, but we aren’t telling the media right now…I know they have a picture, Mom, but it’s blurry and they really can’t prove that it’s us. Okay, I love you too…Yes, I promise I’m fine. Axl is actually here with me right now…I’ll call if I need anything. Goodnight.” He put the phone back on the receiver.  
“That’s it. I’m done with phone calls for the night.”  
“Let’s go to bed, then,” Axl said.  
They undressed and put on their pajamas, Axl borrowing one of Izzy’s shirts to sleep in, then got under the covers. They curled up together, tracing lazy circles on each other’s skin. Izzy leaned in and kissed Axl hungrily, reaching his hands under his shirt to feel his warm skin. Axl reached down to pull Izzy’s boxers off, and Izzy settled on top of him, pinning Axl’s arms down as he leaned in for another kiss. He soon took Axl’s shirt off, tossing it to the side, and reached down to cup his cock in his hands. Axl moaned and lifted his hips to meet Izzy’s.  
Izzy hesitated for a moment.  
“It’s just us, Iz. No one can take this from us.”  
Somehow, Axl knew just what Izzy needed to hear, and he went back to his earlier task. He soon had Axl’s boxers on the floor, and he settled himself inside Axl, making them both gasp with pleasure. Izzy started moving, slowly, relishing the feeling of being inside Axl. Axl reached down and started rubbing his cock as Izzy leaned in for more kisses. Axl buried his free hand in Izzy’s hair until Izzy pinned his arms down again and increased his pace. Axl knew Izzy needed to feel in control after the day’s events, so he let himself be pinned down. He liked it when Izzy did that, anyway. He continued to meet Izzy’s thrusts until both of them were coming, whispering each other’s names in the dark. Izzy collapsed onto Axl, and he wrapped Izzy up in his arms, kissing his neck, tasting the sweat there.   
“I love you, baby,” Axl said.  
“I love you too, Ax.”


	6. Chapter 6

By the time they had their next television interview, everyone was nervous. They all knew the rumors about Izzy and Axl would be brought up, and no one knew quite how to respond. They all arrived separately and converged in the green room. As soon as Izzy walked in, Axl knew something was wrong. He was staggering about and sniffling constantly. Axl walked over to him and whispered, “How did you get here?”  
“I drove.”  
“Damnit, Izzy, you can barely walk.”  
“I don’t need to walk to be able to drive,” Izzy retorted.   
“You could’ve killed yourself or someone else. I told you, no more cocaine.”  
“Stop hassling me, Axl. Let’s just get through this interview and get out of here.”  
A tech peeked in and announced, “You’re on in five minutes.”  
“This conversation isn’t over,” Axl said.  
“Whatever,” Izzy replied.  
“Let’s roll, guys,” Duff said, pulling his jacket on.  
“Don’t be an asshole, Izzy. I’m trying to help you,” Axl told him. “When this interview is over, we’re going back to my place. That way, you can’t meet your dealer again.”  
Izzy was silent, but Axl could tell from his expression that Izzy knew he was right. He couldn’t keep turning to drugs to deal with his problems.  
“Just let me enjoy this high before I have to detox again.”  
“We’re going to be late. Save your lovers’ quarrel for later,” Slash said.  
“Fine, we’re coming,” Axl replied.

Axl did most of the talking, as usual. Izzy sat in his chair, smoking and staring into space for most of the interview. Everything was going smoothly, and everyone thought they had dodged the bullet, when the interviewer picked up the magazine.  
“So, I want to ask you guys, what’s up with this? Axl, there’s a lot of talk in the rumor mill that you and Izzy are more than just friends. What do you have to say about that?”  
“Well,” Axl began, “it’s just that. Rumors. I think this is just some cheap ploy by some cheap magazine in order to get more sales. In fact, I’ll have a lot to say about those magazines on our next album.”  
“Yeah, we have a new song called ‘Get in the Ring’, and Axl just blasts the media,” Steven said.  
Izzy, who hadn’t spoken a word, suddenly burst out laughing. “The very idea. Me and Axl. I mean it’s just absurd, isn’t it?” he asked Axl. “We’re complete opposites. It would never work. He’s just so hyper and I’m so, I don’t know, mellow. He drives me crazy sometimes though. It would probably end with me killing him,” he said sarcastically, before taking another drag from his cigarette.  
Everyone was silent after that outburst. Finally, Axl came to his senses and spoke up.  
“I’ve been told I’m difficult to live with. God knows my stepdad tried his best to kill me when I was a kid.”  
“Yeah,” Izzy said. “You should’ve seen the bruises and casts. It was awful.” He took on a sad demeanor and puffed on his cigarette again.  
Duff nudged him, urging him to shut up.   
“Okay…” the interviewer said. “So, when do you plan to release the album?”  
“Sometime next year,” Slash said. “Hopefully it will be worth the wait. We’ve got some really great material that we’re working on right now.”  
“Alright everybody, Guns N Roses. Thank you guys for being on the show tonight.”   
“Thanks for having us,” Axl said.  
The interviewer looked as relieved to be finished as the band did, and the guys soon scurried back to the green room.  
“What the hell was that?” Axl asked Izzy.  
“What do you mean?”   
“’It would never work. I’d probably kill him’ What the hell, Izzy?”  
“It was just a joke.”  
“Is that what you think of our relationship?”  
“Of course not,” Izzy said. “I was only kidding. I had to throw them off the scent.”  
“Come on, get your things and let’s go,” Axl said.  
“What about my car?”  
“We’ll pick it up when you’ve detoxed.”  
Izzy groaned, knowing he was in for some hell for the next few days. Detoxing always left him physically ill and mentally frazzled. Axl was right. He really did need to get rid of that gun, before he hurt someone.

For the second time in a month, Izzy was curled up under the blankets, freezing, ridding his body of the toxic drug. He was paranoid too, convinced that every little creak and bump he heard was the police getting ready to bust down the door and arrest him for possession of narcotics. Axl curled up beside him, hoping to ease the tremors, but they just got worse as the night wore on. Axl rubbed Izzy’s back soothingly, not sure if he should be scolding Izzy or be supportive. Then again, what would scolding him accomplish? He was an addict. No amount of scolding would change that. Besides, Axl had done hard drugs himself at one time. Who was he to give a lecture?   
“I think I’m d-dying,” Izzy said.  
“You’re not dying. You’ll feel better sometime tomorrow.”  
Axl looked at the clock. It read one a.m. It was tomorrow. He wrapped an arm around Izzy and put one leg in between his, hoping to act as a human heating blanket.  
“Oh, that f-feels good. You’re so warm.”  
“I’ve been told I’m hot on more than one occasion,” Axl joked.  
Izzy laughed. “God, my jaws hurt,” he said, his teeth chattering from the tremors.  
“Just think, if you stay off the drugs, you’ll never have to go through this again.”  
Izzy took Axl’s hand in his. “I’m lucky to h-have you here.”  
“Well, this is my house. Where was I gonna go, New York?”  
Izzy laughed again. “Maybe-maybe we should get out of L.A. Jus’ for a bit. Until I’m better. We should get away from th-the drugs.”  
“That actually sounds like a great idea. Where would you want to go?”  
“Home.”  
“You mean Indiana? You miss all the corn or something? Because I can just run to the grocery store and buy you some corn.”  
“I wanna see my family.”  
“Okay. We’ll go home. Just say the word and I’ll buy the tickets.”  
“Is it gonna be a problem for you?” Izzy asked.  
“No. I just won’t tell my parents I’m coming, that way I don’t have to deal with their bullshit.”  
“Okay. We can stay at m-my place. It’s by the train tracks, where we all used to s-smoke pot.”  
“So, what, do you just step out your back door and relive old times?”  
“’S not that close, dummy.”  
“Whatever you say, Iz. I’m looking forward to seeing your other place. I bet it’s a hippie den.”  
“Damn straight.”

Izzy eventually fell asleep, and an exhausted Axl was soon behind. They slept well into the morning, and by late afternoon, the tremors were somewhat better. Axl went ahead and booked the plane tickets. The sooner they got out of L.A., the better. He called Steven, Slash and Duff to let them know the two of them would be out of town for a couple of weeks, then he got to work packing a bag. They would still have to go back to Izzy’s place to get his clothes, but soon they would be far from his drug connections. In the evening, they headed for the airport and boarded their plane. In just a few short hours, they would be in Indiana. Axl felt some trepidation. The last thing he wanted was for his family to find out he was back home. Sure, he missed his brother and sister, but he didn’t want to see anyone else. He sent out a silent prayer that this trip would be relaxing for the two of them, and he looked over to see Izzy fast asleep in the seat beside him. Axl smiled and pulled the blanket up over him, then laid back and tried to get some more sleep himself.  
When they landed, Izzy shook Axl awake.  
“We’re here, Ax.”  
Axl stretched and yawned. “You look better. How you feeling?”  
“I’m still craving the drugs,” Izzy whispered. “But at least I’m not shaking anymore.”  
“Ready to blow this popsicle stand?”  
“You probably shouldn’t talk about blowing things up while you’re on an airplane.”  
Axl looked around at the other passengers. “Nobody heard. Come one, let’s get out of here.”  
They grabbed their bags from the overhead bin and exited the plane. Axl had hired a driver to take them to Lafayette, and they quickly spotted him, holding a sign with Izzy’s last name on it. They got in for the two-hour ride, laughing and talking all the way there. The stress of L.A. was fading with every passing mile. When they reached the house, Axl tipped the driver and Izzy pulled out his keys. They stepped inside and Izzy said, “Welcome to mi casa, or, as it’s otherwise known, ‘the hippie den’.” Axl had called it right. It wasn’t dissimilar to the set for their music video for ‘Patience’. Tapestries hung on the walls and incense holders were everywhere. Axl went to a far corner of the living room and turned on the radio. To no one’s surprise, it was on a classic rock station.   
“Care to dance?” he asked, holding out his hand to Izzy.   
He took Axl’s hand in his and they swayed back and forth in the dark, until they almost went tumbling over.   
“Ouch, you stepped on my foot,” Izzy said.  
“Sorry. You were trying to lead. I thought I was leading.”  
“No, I always lead.”  
“Okay, you win,” Axl replied.  
They danced until the song was over, then Izzy leaned in for a kiss. “Thank you for coming out here with me. It means everything to me having you here.”  
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”  
Izzy gave him another quick kiss, before turning toward the kitchen.  
“Are you hungry? I’m sure I have some food in here,” he said, opening up the cabinets.  
“Famished.”  
“Shit, there’s nothing in here. I’ll order a pizza.”  
“Pizza and a movie?” Axl asked, settling himself on the sofa and grabbing the remote control.  
“Sounds good. Cheese or pepperoni?”  
“Pepperoni,” Axl replied.

An hour later, they were sitting on the couch with a half-eaten pizza, watching a thriller.  
“I’d like to visit my parents tomorrow. Do you want to come along?” Izzy asked.  
“If you want me there.”  
“I do. My mom will be happy to see you. She always liked you, despite your rap sheet.”  
“I’m glad to hear it,” Axl said, laughing. He laid his head on Izzy’s shoulder and they finished the movie in silence, finally at peace after the stress of Califorrnia.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get published. Writer's block and college have been getting in the way of writing.

When the movie was over, they put the pizza away and went to bed. Izzy curled up against Axl and said, “It’s nice to snuggle with you without having the shakes.”  
“It is nice,” Axl replied. “You had me worried more than once.”  
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m going to stay clean this time I promise.”  
“I’m going to hold you to that,” Axl said, snuggling up closer.  
Izzy put his hand inside Axl’s shirt, his hand coming to rest on the hard muscles there. Slowly, he lowered his hand until it was resting on Axl’s waistband. Axl sighed and shifted, letting Izzy get closer. Izzy took that as encouragement, and dipped his hand inside Axl’s pants, seeking out his hardening cock. When he found it, he wrapped his hand around Axl, and Axl moaned. He took Izzy’s hand in his and started pumping. Once he found a rhythm he liked, he let go of Izzy’s hand and let him take over. He brought Axl to the brink of orgasm more than once, teasing him, until Axl was begging, his hips bucking with anticipation.  
“Please, Izzy, I need you,” he whispered.  
Izzy stopped to pull his pants off, then removed Axl’s pants before entering him. Again, he brought Axl close to the edge, until neither of them could take any more. He reached down and stroked Axl’s dripping cock, making sure he came before Izzy spilled into him, over and over.  
“Oh my God, Izzy. That was amazing. You blow me away every time.”  
“I aim to please,” Izzy replied lazily, trying to catch his breath.  
“What time is it?” Axl asked. “I’m exhausted.”  
Izzy looked at the clock. “Three a.m.”  
“No wonder. Come here. Let’s get some sleep.”  
Izzy cuddled up next to Axl again, wrapping one arm around him. Thy drifted off into a peaceful sleep in no time.

Axl awoke to the morning sunlight streaming in, bathing his face in a warm glow. He looked over at Izzy, who still had his arm wrapped around Axl, sleeping soundly. He tucked a few strands of Izzy’s hair behind his ear before turning to look at the alarm clock. It read eight-thirty a.m.  
“Shit,” Axl said. “Izzy, wake up,” he said, shaking Izzy’s shoulder. “Wake up.”  
“Hmm? What?” he asked without opening his eyes.  
“It’s eight-thirty. We’re supposed to meet your mother at nine.”  
“Fuck,” Izzy replied, opening his eyes. “Oh man, how am I supposed to explain us being late? Sorry, Mom, we were up all night having sex,” he quipped.  
“I’ll let you do the explaining,” Axl said.  
“Gee, thanks.”

Izzy knocked on the door at nine-thirty. He knew his mother wouldn’t care that they were late, but he was still embarrassed. The door swung open and there she was. Sonya, the mother that he felt he hadn’t seen in forever. He leaned in and gave her a hug as she said, “Hi, Jeff. How are you?”  
“I’m okay. How are you?”  
“Good. Hi Billy,” she said to Axl. “Well, I guess you’re Axl now, not Billy.”  
“Hi Mrs. Isbell. It’s okay, some of my own family still calls me Billy.”  
“Well, come on in, you two. How was the drive out here?”  
“Long,” Izzy said. “But it was nice to see the country again. You know how much I love traveling.”   
“You never could sit still as a boy. Have a seat.”  
Izzy and Axl sat down on the couch, and Izzy’s mom sat across from them.  
“Jeff, we need to talk. I’ve seen pictures of you in the magazines, and you don’t look well. I can tell you’re inebriated in many of them. What are you on?”  
‘She really has a way of jumping straight to the point,’ Axl thought.  
“Cocaine lately. Heroine too now and then.”  
“And wine,” Axl added helpfully.  
Izzy shot him a look that said, ‘shut up.’  
“Why, Jeff? You have so much going for you, and you’re a smart young man. Why would you do that to yourself?”  
“Sometimes it’s just all too much, you know? I can’t walk down the street like a normal person without people stopping me for a picture or an autograph. I went to the grocery store to buy toilet paper one day and some guy hit me up for a picture! While I was holding toilet paper!”  
“You’ve got to find another way to deal with these things, Jeffrey. I don’t want to get a phone call in the middle of the night that my son has died of an overdose.”  
“I know, Mom. That’s why I’m here, to get away from the dealers and get clean. And Axl was kind enough to come out here with me to help.”  
“I’m glad he has,” she said, turning her attention to Axl.  
“You’re taking good care of him, right? Because I only want the best for my son.”  
“Mom! Of course, he’s been there for me. He’s the best friend I could ask for.”  
“But this is more than just a friendship isn’t it? I saw the picture of you two together. I know it was you two, despite the bad quality of the picture. I would recognize you anywhere, Jeff.”  
“Yes, we’re more than just friends,” Izzy said. “It took me a long time to come to my senses, but once I did, Axl was right there with me. I can’t see myself with anyone else.”  
Axl blushed and tilted his head down in embarrassment.  
“It’s true,” Izzy said to him.  
Axl stilled felt like a fuck-up. Usually he ruined his relationships, no matter how hard he tried not to. He hoped he could live up to Izzy’s expectations.  
They talked for a few more hours, reminiscing about Axl and Izzy’s childhood.  
“Remember our garage band?” Izzy asked.  
“I certainly remember,” his mother said. “It was loud. But you two were talented even back then.”  
After having lunch at Sonya’s, Axl and Izzy headed back home.

After a few days in Indiana, Izzy started to get restless. Life was quieter here. Less traffic, less people, no nightlife to speak of. He was sitting on the couch bouncing his leg in boredom when Axl sat down next to him.  
“Want to go to bed? It might help you get some energy out.”  
“Do you ever not want sex?” Izzy asked.  
“No.”  
Izzy chuckled. “Of course you don’t. I don’t know, I might clean out the bedroom closet or something. It’s a mess in there.”  
Before he could get up to go to the bedroom, there was a knock on the door.  
Izzy got up and looked through the peephole, then swung the door open.  
“Hey! It’s Dave! Axl, this is my old buddy, Dave. We went to school together.”  
Axl stood up and walked over to the door just as Izzy wrapped Dave in a hug. If Axl was being honest with himself, he was jealous. Even though Dave was just a friend, Axl didn’t like the look of Izzy’s arms around another man. Nevertheless, he shook Dave’s hand and said, “Nice to meet you.”  
“Wow, Axl Rose. Hey, it’s great to meet you, man. When I heard Izzy was in town, I had no idea he brought you along with him.  
“Yeah, we were looking to get out of L.A. for a while,” Axl said without elaborating.  
“Come on in, Dave,” Izzy said. “Oh, man, I don’t have any beers here. I know how much you loved beer back in high school.”  
“I still do.”  
“Why don’t I run out and get us some,” Axl suggested. “I’ll get some snacks too while I’m out.”  
Although he didn’t like the idea of leaving them alone, he knew he could trust Izzy. Afterall, Dave was just a friend, he kept reminding himself.  
“That would be great. Thanks, Ax,” Izzy said.  
Axl grabbed his car keys and opened the door. He took one last look at Izzy and Dave, who had settled on the couch. There was something about Dave that made him feel anxious. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was, but it was there. He turned and left, heading to the grocery store a few miles away. After some odd looks and a slow-moving bagger, he finally got out of there and back to Izzy’s place. It had only been thirty minutes since he had left, but he noticed that Dave’s car was gone. He hoped Izzy was still home. He fumbled for his keys, balancing two bags of food in his arms as he opened the door.   
“Babe, I’m back.” He didn’t get an answer. “Izzy? You home?” He turned around and that’s when he saw it. A pair of feet sticking out from the front of the couch. He rushed over to the prone body and found a pale Izzy with a needle sticking out of his arm. “Oh, my God. Jeff!” Axl checked for a pulse and found that it was weak. He reached for the phone and dialed 911. “Stay with me, baby.” The ambulance arrived and they loaded Izzy into the back.   
“Looks like heroin,” one of the EMTs said.  
“He has a history of heroin use,” Axl said. “When is the ambulance going to leave? He needs to get to the hospital.”  
“We’re about to take off now. You can follow in your car if you want.” Axl didn’t need their permission. He was riding the ambulance’s ass all the way to the hospital, honking his horn. He couldn’t understand why they weren’t moving faster. Izzy barely had a pulse and the stupid driver was taking his sweet time. When they finally arrived, Axl sped into a parking space, jerking his foot on the brakes in order to avoid hitting the car parked in front of him. He ran into the hospital behind the EMTs, and a nurse ushered him away from the emergency room. He caught a glimpse of Izzy before she pushed him away. He was still pale, but the needle had been removed from his arm and an oxygen mask was covering most of his face. Axl was going to kill Dave. There would be no body, no evidence, just one dead Dave and, God willing, one safe Izzy.


	8. Chapter 8

The first sensation Izzy had was one of absolute darkness. Everywhere around him, everything was black. He moved his eyes, but he couldn’t tell if they were open or closed.  
‘Am I dead?’ he wondered.  
Slowly, he began to feel that his airway was being cut off. He was choking. He began gagging, desperately trying to breathe, all the while trying to find any source of light he could. He felt a hand wrap itself around his own, then he heard it. Axl’s voice. Nervous, yet calming at the same time.  
“Relax, Izzy. You have an oxygen tube down your throat. Just try to relax.”  
‘So, I’m not dead. Oh, shit, that means I fucked up. I wonder what drug it was this time?’  
Then came the other voices. And the light. A blinding light, first in his right eye, then his left. He tried to close his eyes, but someone was holding them open.  
‘A flashlight,’ he thought. ‘They’re checking my pupils.’  
After the light was gone, he was finally able to open his eyes on his own. He saw a doctor, a nurse and Axl, all looking very relieved.   
‘It must have been a close call.’ Izzy thought.  
“Do you know where you are?” the doctor asked.  
Izzy nodded yes.  
“Let’s get this tube out. Just relax your throat.”  
‘That’s easy for you to say,’ Izzy thought, as he began coughing. His eyes were watering, and his throat felt dry. Finally, the tube came out.  
The nurse held a glass of water up for him, and he drank it greedily. He wondered how long he had been there. He decided to ask.  
“You’ve been unconscious for two days,” the doctor said.  
“What did I take?” Izzy asked.  
“Heroin,” came Axl’s voice. “And too damn much of it. The doctor said if I hadn’t found you when I did, you would have died.”  
“I’d like to keep you here a few more days for observation,” the doctor said. “Try to get some more rest. I’ll be back to check on you later,” the doctor said, and he and the nurse left.  
“I’m sorry, Axl. I really tried this time, but I just got so restless.”  
Axl was quiet, looking at the floor.  
“Is my family here?” Izzy asked.  
“They’re all in the cafeteria.” He looked up at Izzy. “You’re going to rehab, Izzy. Your parents already arranged it. You’ll go straight there when you’re discharged. I packed a bag for you.”  
“I guess that’s for the best. I really want to get clean, Ax, I promise.”  
“I’m tired of your promises, Izzy. I’m here for you, but I’ll believe it when I see it.” With that, he left, leaving Izzy to think about his regrets, and there were a lot of them. He really messed up this time. He could see it in Axl’s eyes. A lone tear slid down his face, and he wiped it away. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. A few moments later, his parents and brother walked in.  
“Jeffrey!” his mother said. “Axl told us you were awake. We were so worried.” She kissed him on the cheek and his dad patted him on the arm.  
“It’s good to see you awake, son.”  
“Hi, Dad. Joe… I’ve set such a bad example for you.”  
“I’m just glad my big brother is okay,” Joe said. “The doctors didn’t think you would make it past the first twenty-four hours.”  
“Shit,” Izzy said. He sighed. “I hear I’m going to rehab.”  
“Yes, you are,” his father said in a stern voice. “And you’re not leaving until you’re better.”

Two days later, Izzy was discharged and ready to go. A nurse pushed him outside in a wheelchair, to the circle drive where he waited for Axl to pick him up. The car came around the bend, and Izzy stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. It was now or never. After a quick “Thank you” to the nurse, he opened the door and got in the car.  
“Ready?” Axl asked.  
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”  
“Let’s go then,” Axl said, as he put his sunglasses on and shifted into drive.  
They drove in silence for almost an hour, getting as far away as they could from Lafayette, and Dave. Axl still had plans for him. They arrived at a cream-colored building, with hydrangeas dotting the landscape around the building. Axl parked the car and opened the trunk. He pulled out an extra suitcase that he had packed in addition to Izzy’s backpack.  
“I brought you some books along with some more clothes. Hopefully they’ll keep you occupied.”  
“Thanks, Axl. That was thoughtful of you.”  
“Just looking out for you, Iz. I’m trying to be a good boyfriend to you, but sometimes I wonder… do you keep going back to the drugs because of me?” he blurted. “Am I failing you somehow? Are you bored with me?”  
“Bored? Axl, you’re the farthest thing from boring. You’re not doing anything wrong. I love being with you. I promise.”  
“Okay,” Axl said, looking down at his feet. “Let’s go inside.”  
“Wait, there’s just one thing I want to do before we go inside.”  
Izzy walked up to Axl, lifted his chin and kissed him. “I just wanted to do that before we got inside with all of those other people. I don’t want any more pictures in the tabloids.”  
“Izzy, I need to ask you a question.”  
“Anything.”  
“Where does Dave live?”  
Izzy let go of Axl’s chin and took a step back. “Why do you need to know that?”  
“I just need to know.”  
“Axl…”  
“Please, Izzy. The man needs to know what he did.”  
“Axl, don’t do anything stupid.”  
“When have I ever done anything stupid?” Axl asked.  
“Well…”  
“Don’t answer that. Just tell me where he lives.”  
“No, Axl. You’ll go to jail. I can see it now.”  
“Fine, I’ll find out by myself. Let’s go.”  
Izzy sighed and followed him inside.  
The check-in process went smoothly, since Izzy’s parents had already arranged everything.  
“You’ll have a roommate,” the receptionist said. “Visiting hours are until five p.m. I’ll show you to your room. You can come along,” she said to Axl.  
As they walked down the long hallways, Izzy felt a sense of trepidation. His shoulders tensed and his breath was coming in shallow pants. He didn’t like the idea of staying here alone, with strangers, for God only knew how long. A month, he guessed. They arrived outside room 228, and the receptionist opened the door.   
“This is your room,” she said.   
Izzy saw a man about his age lounging on one of the beds, smoking a cigarette.  
‘At least we can smoke here,’ Izzy thought.  
The man stood up and took the cigarette out of his mouth. “Hey, I’m Phil,” he said, shaking Izzy’s hand. “What are you in for?”  
“Heroin this time, but mostly cocaine.”  
“Yeah, I got a habit for coke too. Although, I’m trying to focus all of my energy into these,” he said, holding up the cigarette. He saw Izzy’s hungry stare and asked, “Want one?”  
“Yeah, man, that’d be great,” Izzy said. “Thanks.”  
Phil handed him a cigarette and his lighter. Izzy lit it up and started to relax. His shoulders didn’t feel so tense anymore and he was able to take a deep breath.  
“I’m Jeff, by the way.”  
“Nice to meet you, Jeff.”  
Phil didn’t seem to recognize them. He shook Axl’s hand and Axl said, “You can call me Bill.”  
“Nice to meet you, Bill.”  
“Someone will come by to search your bags, Mr. Isbell, so if you have any contraband, drugs, knives, any kind of weapon, it’s best to hand it over to me now,” the receptionist said.  
“He doesn’t have anything like that. I packed his bags myself,” Axl said.  
“Good. I’ll let you get settled in,” she said before leaving.  
“Well, here’s your suitcase,” Axl said. “I’ll come by and see you tomorrow. I’m sure your family will want to come along.”  
Izzy inhaled another puff from his cigarette. He was getting tense again. “Okay. See you later. Thanks for packing my stuff.”  
“No problem. See ya. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  
“That’s a long list,” Izzy said.  
Axl flipped him off jokingly before leaving. When he got back into the car, he had one focus- find Dave- and make him pay for almost killing Izzy.


	9. Chapter 9

Axl drove back to Izzy’s house in silence, catching himself speeding more than once.  
‘Calm down, Axl,’ he told himself. ‘Stay focused. Getting pulled over by the cops won’t get you to Dave any faster.’  
When he reached Izzy’s house, he shut off the engine and went inside. He went straight for the phone book. It took him an hour, searching through all the ‘Davids’ in the phone book, but he finally found a David that sounded familiar. David Buchanan. That name rung a bell from high school. Axl jotted down his address and chuckled when he realized that David lived about five minutes away. He got his keys and got back in the car, whistling as he did so. Dave was about to learn a lesson, if Axl had anything to say about it. He drove the three miles to the street that Dave lived on and parked a few houses down. He got out of the car and casually strolled down the street to house number 321. He knocked on the door, and could hear a ruckus inside. The door swung open and there was Dave, laughing at something someone had said, a beer in one hand. As soon as he saw Axl’s devilish grin, he tried to shut the door.   
Axl didn’t miss the wide-eyed stare Dave gave him as he tried to swing the door shut. He used his shoulder to force the door back open, and Dave stumbled, falling to the floor. Axl fell on him and started punching him in the face.  
“Do you know what you did, you piece of shit? You almost killed him! How dare you bring drugs to an addict!”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Dave shouted. “Get off of me!”  
His feigned ignorance just made Axl angrier, so much so that he grabbed hold of Dave’s shirt collar and started bashing his head against the floor. Dave’s eyes became unfocused and he dropped his bottle of beer.  
Axl heard a scream and looked up to see a woman standing in the living room.  
“Stop it,” she said. “You’re going to kill him!”  
Axl barely heard her, he just kept pummeling Dave.  
“Daddy!”  
That sound made Axl stop in his tracks. He looked up again and saw two small children standing in the hallway, crying. What was he doing? He looked down and saw that Dave was unconscious, lying in a pool of blood and beer. He really was going to kill the guy if he didn’t stop. Axl got up and sighed, all of his energy had been poured into each swing of his fist, and now he was exhausted. He crept backwards, out of the house, his slow walk turning into a sprint when he realized that Dave’s wife was on the phone with a 911 operator. He ran back to his car and unlocked it with bloody hands, driving back to Izzy’s house. As soon as he got inside, he locked the door, closed all of the blinds and washed the blood off his hands. He noticed a bloodstain on his shirt and went upstairs to change it. He decided to call Izzy. After his frightening encounter, and it was frightening, losing so much control over himself, he needed to know that Izzy was okay.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, it’s me,” Axl said.  
“Oh, hey. What’s up?” Izzy asked.  
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”  
“It’s lonely here without you, but Phil is keeping me company. He’s out on a smoke break right now. Did you know he’s a writer? We’re actually working on a few songs right now, but he’s a lousy poet.”  
“No, I didn’t know that,” Axl said, a tinge of jealousy making its way into his voice.  
“What’s wrong, Axl?” Izzy said.  
“Nothing. I’ll come by later to visit you. Maybe we can run those songs by the other guys, see what they think.”  
“I should have brought my guitar. I can’t write without my guitar.”  
“How about I bring one to you?” Axl asked. “Maybe it’ll keep you busy, keep you from getting restless again.”  
“That sounds great. Thanks, Axl.”  
“It’s no big deal.”  
Just then, there was a heavy knock on the door. Axl peeked out through a slat in the blinds and saw four policemen standing outside the door.  
“Oh, shit.”  
“Axl? What’s wrong?”  
“Um, nothing. Listen, I left something on the stove, and I think it’s burning. I gotta go.”  
“Ax-“ he hung up the phone and answered the door.  
“How can I help you, officers?”  
“Are you Bill Bailey, sir?”  
“Not anymore. I’m Axl now.”  
“Sir, you need to come with us,” a second officer said.  
“What is this about?” Axl asked them.  
“Why don’t you just get into the cruiser, sir, and we’ll talk more at the police station.”  
“Can I get my keys first?”  
The first officer, a burly man who looked like he had played football in high school stepped inside the house and followed Axl while he got his keys.  
“Am I under arrest?”  
“We just want to ask you some questions.”

As soon as they arrived at the police station, Axl was placed in a small room with a table and two chairs. He waited for maybe a half an hour before Mr. Football Player came in with water and some chips.  
“Help yourself,” the officer said.  
Axl noticed that his uniform read ‘Thompson.’   
“What am I here for, Officer Thompson,” Axl asked in his most innocent voice. He didn’t trust the cop’s calm, friendly demeanor for a second.  
“Do you know a man named David Buchanan?” Officer Thompson asked.  
“Do I know him? I’ve met him once or twice, but I can’t say that I know him. He’s a friend of a friend,” Axl explained.  
“Mhm. Well, it just so happens that Mr. Buchanan said you assaulted him earlier in the day. What do you have to say about that?”  
“Assault is a strong word, officer.”  
“Mr. Buchanan is currently in the hospital with a concussion. I think ‘assault’ fits.”  
Axl flinched. He knew he had been rough with Dave, but not concussion rough. The officer continued.  
“Now, Mrs. Buchanan and her children all say that you tackled David to the ground and struck him several times.”  
“Is that a question?” Axl asked.  
After Axl’s question, Officer Thompson was no longer in the mood to be civil.   
“Listen here, Mr. Rose, you’re in a good deal of trouble. It would be best if you were honest with me.”  
“Fine. I hit him. He almost killed my best friend,” Axl explained.  
“How so?”  
“Dave brought him heroin. He overdosed. Thankfully, I found him in time, or he would have died of that overdose.”  
“We didn’t find any signs of drug use in the Buchanans’ house.”  
“Did you even bother to search?” Axl barked.  
“Watch your tone, Mr. Rose.”  
“Or what, you’re going to ground me? Give me a spanking? Well, I’ll tell you, there’s nothing you can do to me that hasn’t already been done.”  
The officer thought he saw Axl tear up a bit, but as soon as it was there, it disappeared.  
“Okay, I’m done playing games with you,” the officer said impatiently. 

The cell door swung shut as Axl sat on the cot. How was he supposed to visit Izzy now? ‘I should have just kept my big mouth shut.’ After a moment, he thought, ‘No, you know what, fuck the cops. They’re always out to get me anyway.’ He had been led through the jail, his possessions taken from him, his fingerprints taken for what seemed like the thousandth time in his life, and had his photo taken. He was sure to smile in this one, just to piss the cops off even more. He still couldn’t believe he had given Dave a concussion. ‘Serves him right, motherfucker.’ Still, he wished the kids hadn’t seen his outburst. No one should see their parent go through that kind of treatment. Axl knew that well.  
After a few hours of sitting on that cot, Axl was getting impatient. “Hey, can I get a cigarette in here?” he yelled through the bars of the cell. When he got no response, he yelled again. “Hello? Hey, you, I can see you. I know you can hear me,” he said to the man who had confiscated all his possessions. The guy just looked up at him like he was bored, then looked back down at his paperwork and continued writing. “Yeah, fuck you too,” Axl said. An officer rounded the corner and open the cell door.   
“Time for your phone call,” he told Axl.  
“Can I get a cigarette, too?”  
“There’s no smoking inside the jail.”  
“Fuck me,” Axl said.  
He was led to a payphone and handed a quarter. “You have ten minutes,” the officer told him, standing to the side.  
Axl thought for a moment about who to call. He didn’t have his lawyer’s number memorized, although he probably should by now. He decided to call Duff instead. Axl dialed his number, and Duff answered on the third ring.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, it’s Axl.”  
“Oh, hey man. How’s Indiana?”  
“I need help, Duff. I’m in the can.”  
“What did you do this time, beat somebody up?”  
“Actually, yeah,” Axl said.  
“Well, where was Izzy? I thought you two were supposed to keep each other out of trouble.”  
“Izzy’s in rehab. Long story short, he OD’d, almost died, and I beat up the guy that brought him the drugs.”  
“Jesus. Okay, what do you need from me?” Duff asked.  
“I need you to bail me out of here. I’ll pay you back as soon as I’m out.”  
“Five minutes,” the officer interrupted.  
“I’ve got to go, Duff. Just get me out of here ASAP. I don’t want Izzy to know about this.”  
“I’ll wire the money to the jail. Give me about thirty minutes,” Duff responded.  
“Thanks, man. You’re a lifesaver.”  
“No problem. Just stay out of trouble from now on, rebel.”  
“I’ll do my best. No promises, though,” Axl joked.  
“Go get your man,” Duff said, before hanging up.

Once Axl was out of jail, he went back to Izzy’s place to wash the ink off his fingers and grab Izzy’s guitar. He headed out to the rehab center. He still had three more hours before the place closed for the evening. That was plenty of time to get out there and spend some time with Izzy. When he arrived, he was searched for drugs and weapons, then allowed to walk by himself to Izzy’s room, once the staff was satisfied that he had not brought any banned items into the facility. He reached Izzy’s room and opened the door, where he saw Izzy and Phil hunched over a desk, looking at a piece of paper. He was instantly jealous. He didn’t like how closely they were sitting together. He knew Izzy could get really focused on his work and be somewhat unaware of his surroundings, but he still didn’t like it.  
“Hey, guys,” Axl said.  
“Axl! Hey, thanks for bringing my guitar,” Izzy said. “It’s good to see you.”  
“Good to see you too,” Axl said, leaning in when Izzy reached out to give him a hug. “So, what are you guys up to?”  
“We’re just going over those song lyrics again. Here, tell us what you think,” Izzy said, handing the paper to Axl.  
He scanned the paper and said, “This is pretty good. What are you gonna call it?”  
“I was thinking ‘Double-talkin Jive’,” Izzy said. “You know that moment when you just lose it and you don’t have any more patience for other peoples’ bullshit?” Izzy asked.  
“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Axl put the paper back on the desk. “Izzy, could I talk to you alone for a minute?”  
“Sure, Axl. There’s a nature trail out back, we can go out there and talk.”  
“No need,” Phil said. “I’ll leave. I need another cigarette anyway.”  
Phil left, closing the door behind him.  
“What’s going on with you two?” Axl asked.  
“What do you mean? Axl, I don’t like your tone.”  
“What tone?”  
“It’s accusatory. Like I’ve done something wrong.”  
“Have you?” Axl asked.  
“Are you asking me if there’s something going on between me and Phil? Axl, he’s just a friend. Do you really think I would cheat on you?”  
“I never used to think you would, but I didn’t like how closely you two were sitting when I came in.”  
“Axl, I do that with everybody. I do it with Duff, Slash and Steven all the time.”  
“No, you don’t.”  
“Yes, I do. Maybe you just haven’t been paying attention.”  
“Don’t put this on me. Have you been fucking him?”  
Izzy looked like he had been slapped. “No! I can’t believe you’re even asking me this. You know I love you. Don’t you?”  
“You share a room. It would be easy enough for you to fuck him whenever you wanted.”  
“Axl, I’m not sleeping with him, and you’re not answering my question. Don’t you know that I love you and only you?”  
“Whatever, here’s your guitar,” Axl said, setting it down next to Izzy’s bed.  
“Axl?”  
“I’ll see you later, Izzy,” Axl said, walking out and slamming the door behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

Axl sat hunched up on Izzy’s couch, hugging his knees.   
‘This is how it ends,’ he thought. ‘This is how it always ends.’  
A single tear ran down his cheek and he swiped it away angrily. He hadn’t spoken to Izzy since his outburst several days earlier. Izzy had been calling, leaving voicemails, but Axl wasn’t responding, again. Just like he had done the first time they slept together. Axl just retreated into his shell and closed off the outside world. He wouldn’t be surprised if Izzy really did find someone else now.   
‘Me and my goddamn jealous insecurities. I’ve ruined everything.’  
The phone rang again, and he ignored it, again. When the machine beeped, he expected to hear Izzy’s voice, but instead he heard Duff.  
“Hey, man. Izzy’s really worried about you. Will you pick up the phone already?”  
There was silence for a few moments.  
“Axl, if you don’t pick up the phone, Izzy is going to call his family to come check on you.”  
That did the trick.  
“What do you want?” Axl asked.  
Duff breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “To know that you’re alive, for one. Izzy told me about your fight. What were you thinking, accusing him of cheating? Izzy’s not that kind of guy.”  
“I know, I just… I just got scared when I saw him with this guy, Phil. I got jealous.”  
“Of what? Izzy is over the moon for you. Nobody else holds that place in his heart. Now will you please call him, or go visit?”  
“Okay, Duff. If it will make you guys happy, I’ll go see him.”  
“Preferably today. Izzy has been clean for two weeks now, and he’s halfway through his rehab. He said he wants to share that milestone with you beside him.”  
“Okay, I’ll head that way soon.”  
“Okay, bye Axl.”  
“Bye Duff.”

Axl hung up the phone and sighed. He stood up, went into the bathroom and looked at himself. It was obvious he hadn’t been sleeping well, and he hadn’t brushed his hair today, leaving it a mess. He took a shower and got dressed before heading out. Once he was in the car and heading down the highway, he began to wonder what he would say to Izzy when he finally saw him again.  
‘Sorry I was such an asshole?’ ‘Do you want to see other people now?’  
He turned on the radio, hoping it would provide some sort of distraction from his worried thoughts. By some weird coincidence, ‘Patience’ started playing, and he flicked the radio off. After an hour, he was at the rehab center. He parked the car and let out a shaky breath. He figured things could go one of two ways. Izzy could be kind and forgiving, or he could break up with him. Axl figured he didn’t deserve the former, and he hoped the latter didn’t happen. He decided to bite the bullet and turned the ignition off and strode into the center. He still remembered where Izzy’s room was, and he twisted and turned down the hallways. Soon, the sound of a guitar confirmed that he was close. He got to Izzy’s room and stood outside the doorway, watching him pluck the strings, singing a soft tune that Axl didn’t recognize. Phil was nowhere to be seen.  
“Hey, Izzy,” Axl greeted him.  
Izzy looked up from his guitar and smiled a sad smile.  
‘Oh, shit, he’s going to break up with me,’ Axl thought.  
“Hey, Ax. Did you talk to Duff?”  
“Yeah,” Axl said, as he made his way into the room. “He called about two hours ago.”  
“Good,” Izzy responded, nodding his head. He put the guitar down and spoke. “Axl, I-“  
“Izzy-“ Axl began.  
“Please, let me explain,” Axl said.  
Izzy motioned his hands in a ‘Go ahead’ gesture.  
“I got scared when I saw you with Phil. Really scared. I saw you sharing something with him that you usually share with me, and I thought you were going to replace me with someone else.”  
“And you had to act like a total fuckface because of it?” Izzy asked in a biting tone.  
That stung, even though Axl knew he deserved it. “Yeah, I know I was an asshole. I’m sorry, Izzy. I’m really sorry.”  
“You never answered my question,” Izzy replied.  
“Question? What question?”  
“Whether or not you knew that I love you. You never answered me.”  
“Izzy, sometimes I wonder how anybody could love me. Can you love me after the way I treated you?”  
“I can, and do love you, but I don’t like the way you handled yourself. You need counseling, Axl. You have some serious trust issues that need to be addressed if we’re going to make it.”  
Axl’s cheeks flamed red. Nobody had ever told him to see a shrink before. People, mostly his family and the cops, just told him he was a failure and nothing but trouble. A loser.  
“Okay. If that’s what it takes to keep you, I’ll see a shrink.”  
“By the way, Phil is married with three kids, and the way he talks about his wife, there’s no way he would ever sleep with a man. Trust me.”  
“Okay, I believe you,” Axl said.  
“And I know about Dave. Your arrest was in the paper. My brother called and asked me what happened. Why couldn’t you have just stayed away from him? He could have pressed charges and you would be facing more jail time.”  
“He had to know, Izzy. I had to tell him what he did. I couldn’t let him get away with hurting you.”  
“Axl, I have a question for you, and I want you to be honest. If you don’t know, just say so. Do you love me? I mean, are you in love with me, the way I am with you?”  
Axl shuffled his feet, staring at the floor, before replying, “Yes, Izzy, I’m in love with you. Do you really think I would have beaten a guy up and gotten jealous over another if I didn’t love you?”  
“No, but I needed to know.”  
Izzy stood up and embraced Axl, wrapping him in the tightest hug he had gotten in a long time. Maybe in his whole life. The thought made him start crying for the second time that day.  
“I’m so sorry, Izzy.”  
“It’s okay. I can forgive you, with time.”  
Axl hugged him back, thanking God that he hadn’t lost the most important person in his life.  
Izzy leaned in and kissed him, and Axl had forgotten how much he missed Izzy’s taste. I was a mixture of Marlboros and tea, and something else that Axl could never identify. He figured it was just the taste of Izzy himself.  
“I’m glad you’re here, Axl. I missed you.”  
“I missed you too. I’ll never walk out on you like that again. I promise.”  
“I’m going to hold you to that,” Izzy said, wiping Axl’s tears away.  
“Are you still mad at me?”  
“A little. It will pass.”  
Axl nodded. ‘Duff said you’re halfway through rehab. Congratulations.”  
“Thanks. The real trick will be staying clean after I leave here. I’ll have a sponsor, though, so I’ll have someone to talk to day or night if I get the urge to use again.”  
“I’m here for you too, if you need me.”  
The alarm clock went off and Izzy cursed as he went to silence the beeping. “It’s time for our group meeting. Stay for a while. You can hang out in here until we’re finished. It will only take about an hour.”  
“Okay, I’ll stay.”  
“Great. See you soon,” Izzy said, giving Axl a quick peck on the lips before leaving.  
Axl got comfortable on Izzy’s bed, picking up a guitar magazine and flipping through the pages. Despite being in a band with two guitarists and a bassist, he had no idea what he was looking at, and he soon lost interest, tossing the magazine to the side. He shuffled through some more magazines before finding a small stack of papers in Izzy’s handwriting. They looked like song lyrics. Axl read through them, hoping Izzy wouldn’t mind. He had asked Axl to take a look at another song, after all. The lyrics were pretty good. Axl wondered if any of them were the one that Izzy was singing when he arrived. Axl found some blank paper and a pen and jotted down some notes. He could visualize where a piano piece or a guitar solo would fit into the songs. He kept himself busy that way until Izzy returned.  
“Oh, you found my stash, huh?”  
“I hope you don’t mind. I was just writing out some piano music to go with your lyrics. If you want piano in your songs.”  
“Let me see,” Izzy said, holding out his hand.  
Axl gave him the papers and Izzy looked over them, nodding his head a few times. “This is good. We should run it by the guys.”  
“Will you play the songs for me?” Axl asked, inclining his head toward the guitar.  
“Sure. Scoot over.”  
Axl did as he was told, and Izzy sat down next to him, grabbed his pick and started playing, singing along to the music. Axl loved Izzy’s voice. It was so representative of who Izzy was as a person. Calm and mellow, yet intense at times. He could have listened for hours. Finally, Izzy came to the one that Axl had heard earlier, the one he now recognized as a song titled ‘Sweet Caress.’ It was about the memories of an encounter between two people, and the author thinking about, and missing the other person. Axl figured Izzy must have written it while he was dodging his phone calls.  
“That was beautiful, Izzy. Still waters run deep, as the saying goes.”  
“Yeah, well, these waters can be pretty still,” Izzy said, reaching for a cigarette.  
Axl stared at him for a moment.  
“What?” Izzy asked.  
“Are you allowed to leave here for day trips?”  
“Sure. I’m here voluntarily, so I can come and go as I please.”  
“There’s a hotel about ten minutes from here,” Axl said mischievously.  
Izzy’s lips curled into a grin. “Can’t wait another two weeks, can you?”  
“Let’s just say, I’m getting jealous of that cigarette.”  
“You’re jealous of a lot of things, aren’t you?”  
That stung a bit, but Axl brushed it off.  
“So, what’s the name of this hotel?” Izzy asked.

Fifteen minutes later, they were pulling up to a Quality Inn. Axl went inside and reserved a room, while Izzy stood outside smoking another cigarette. Axl came outside with a grin on his face, dangling two keys in his hands.  
“Here we are, mon cher, room 106.”  
“Do you even know what ‘mon cher’ means?” Izzy asked him.  
“Not a clue,” Axl deadpanned.  
They stepped into the hotel room and Axl closed the door behind them, clicking the lock shut.  
“It isn’t the Hilton, but it’ll do,” Axl said.  
“I don’t care what it looks like, as long as there’s a bed and no roaches.”  
“Well, you’re in luck, because the room comes equipped with a bed and is roach-free.”  
“Equipped?” Izzy said. “What is this, a hotel room or a rocket ship?”  
They shared a laugh before Axl stepped forward and caught Izzy’s lips in a searing kiss.  
“Damn, I’ve missed that,” Izzy said.  
“Me too.” Axl reached for the hem of Izzy’s tee shirt and swiftly pulled it off him, reaching for the button of his jeans as he leaned in for another kiss. Izzy kicked his shoes off, followed by his pants. Axl was delighted to see that he wasn’t wearing any underwear.  
“I see you’ve come prepared,” Axl joked.  
“How about you? You’re wearing way too much,” Izzy said, reaching for Axl’s belt buckle. He had Axl’s pants off in less than thirty seconds and moved onto his jacket and shirt. Finally, they were both standing naked in front of each other. Axl took Izzy’s hand and pulled him onto the bed. Izzy planted a trail of kisses across Axl’s neck, then his collarbone, down his torso until he reached Axl’s thighs. He kissed and sucked on his thighs, teasing Axl.   
“Oh, God, Izzy. Stop fooling around. I need you.”  
Izzy complied, draping one arm over Axl’s rolling hips and lowering his mouth over his cock.  
Axl gasped, and Izzy started moving, slowly, making Axl lift his hips again, wanting more.  
“Izzy…” Axl whined.  
Izzy sped up, holding Axl’s hips in a tight grip, knowing they would leave marks, and feeling a strange satisfaction in that knowledge. Maybe he could be a little jealous too, because the thought of marking Axl as his own was an intriguing one.  
“Izzy, I’m almost there…”  
Izzy pulled his mouth off Axl, giving him a few slow licks after he did, still holding onto Axl’s hips.  
Axl flipped them over, startling Izzy, who was now on his back, looking up at Axl.  
“To celebrate your two weeks of sobriety,” Axl said in a breathless voice, “today is all about you. You don’t have to do a thing. Just let me love you.”  
“Whatever you say, mon cher,” Izzy teased.  
“Oh, you’re going to pay for that.”  
Axl lowered his mouth over Izzy, and Izzy about jumped out of his skin. There had been no warning, just Axl’s hot mouth over his hard cock.  
“Shit!”  
Axl laughed, and the vibrations sent waves of pleasure throughout Izzy’s body.  
Axl licked and sucked him expertly, knowing what Izzy liked and what all of his weaknesses were. When he sensed Izzy was close, and he could tell from his increasingly insistent, but gentle pulling of Axl’s hair, he removed his mouth and sat up, spreading Izzy’s legs apart. He lowered himself over Izzy, stroking his cock as he entered him. Izzy gasped and opened his eyes, and Axl leaned in for a kiss, mimicking his rhythm below.  
“I love you, Axl.”  
“I love you too, Izzy. So much.”

They settled into a slow rhythm, Axl doing all of the work, as promised, kissing behind Izzy’s ears and sucking on his neck, leaving marks where anyone was sure to see them. They stayed like this for a few hours, taking their time, savoring each other. It was getting late, and Izzy had to be back at the rehab center soon, but he didn’t care. It grew dark, and he and Axl could no longer hold back, both of them coming after hours of pleasure. Axl curled up in the crook of Izzy’s shoulder.  
“I don’t want you to go back, but I know you have to.”  
“Two more weeks, Axl. Just two more weeks.”  
“I guess we should be going now.”  
Izzy kissed him and got out of bed to pick up his clothes.  
They got dressed and Axl returned the room keys before driving Izzy back to rehab. When they got inside, Izzy saw Phil looking around the reception area.  
“Oh, there you are. Man, everybody’s looking for you. They said if you got back late, you couldn’t go out for day trips anymore until you checked out after your month was up.”  
“Oh, shit. Man, can you cover for me? Tell them you found me out on the nature trail?”  
“I can try, but I don’t know if they’ll buy it.”  
“I’m sorry, Izzy,” Axl apologized. “This is my fault.”  
“It’s just as much mine,” Izzy said.  
“Mr. Isbell,” a staff member called out, as he walked toward Izzy.  
“I’m sorry for the confusion,” Izzy began.  
“I found him out on the nature trail. He isn’t feeling well, so I helped him back inside.”  
The staff member looked at the three of them, noticing a hickey on Izzy’s neck. “You’re not to leave this facility until your treatment is over, is that understood?”  
“Yes, sir,” Izzy grumbled.  
The staff member turned to Axl. “Visiting hours are over, sir. You’ll have to come back tomorrow,” he said, before walking away.  
“Sorry, man, I tried,” said Phil. “I’ll see you in a few.”  
“Well, shit,” Izzy said. “I guess this is goodbye for now.”  
“Goodbye, Izzy. Have a good night.”  
“I already have. Thank you, Axl, for what you did for me today. I needed that.”  
Axl gave him a tight hug, before retreating to his car, and back to Lafayette.


	11. Chapter 11

“Where are you going?”  
Izzy turned around and saw the receptionist giving him a look similar to what a stern teacher would give a misbehaving child.  
“I’m going outside for a smoke, where are you going?” he answered sarcastically.  
“Mr. Isbell, you know you aren’t allowed to leave the premises.”  
“I can’t even go outside for a fuckin’ smoke?”  
The receptionist frowned and ordered him to be back in ten minutes, before sitting down at her desk and glaring at him.  
‘Oh, well,’ Izzy thought. ‘My day out with Axl was worth it. Even if the staff has been hounding me for a week.’   
He took long puffs on his cigarette, exhaling slowly. It was his version of the deep breathing techniques the therapists at the center had been teaching the residents. Izzy was pretty sure they didn’t mean for anyone to take deep breaths of tobacco, but he really didn’t care. This relaxed him, which was the whole point anyway. His mind wandered to Axl, wondering what he was doing right now. ‘Probably still sleeping,’ Izzy thought, as it was only around six in the morning. Breakfast would be served soon, followed by individual counseling. How Izzy hated that. Bearing his soul to a complete stranger, but he knew if he resisted, he would just have to stay here longer. ‘One more week,’ he told himself. ‘Just one more week, and I’m out of here, with one month of sobriety.’ He heard a knock on the glass doors and turned around to see the receptionist holding up one hand and mouthing the words “five minutes.” Izzy put out his stub of a cigarette, and, just to be a jerk, lit another one, staring at the receptionist the whole time. She turned around with a look of disgust and went back to her duties. ‘The fuckin’ night crew here sucks,’ Izzy thought.   
When his five minutes were up, Izzy went back inside and headed for the cafeteria. He decided to call Axl after his therapy session. He was sure it would be the bright spot in his day, and with any luck, he could get some more writing done. Throwing himself into his work was helping immensely when it came to the drug cravings. His family would be so proud, he knew. If he could just stay clean, his whole future would be bright.

Axl rolled over in bed, expecting to find Izzy next to him, before he remembered, Izzy was at rehab. His smile faded and he sighed. He didn’t like waking up alone or going to bed alone for that matter. He knew Izzy was getting shit from the staff at rehab for staying out too late, and Axl still blamed himself for that. It was his idea to leave that day, after all. His stomach growled and he sat up, pulling the blanket off his legs and walking to the kitchen. He rummaged around and found only a bag of chips and a few bottles of soda. He would have to go grocery shopping today unless he wanted Izzy to come home next week to a house with no food. Axl had been relying on takeout for the past few weeks. He cleaned up his empty takeout containers and ate the bag of chips- he was really hungry- then got in his car and went to the store.  
The store radio was playing depressing music, as always, as Axl rolled his shopping cart through the aisles, picking up essential items along with a few of his and Izzy’s favorites, Italian and Indian food. He was just about to turn the corner to get eggs when a familiar face crossed his path. It was his stepdad, Stephen.  
“Billy? Fancy seeing you here. Why didn’t you tell us you were in town? Your mother is in the bread aisle, by the way.”  
After Axl got over his initial shock, he was finally able to speak. “I’m not here for long. I didn’t want to pop in only to leave again. I don’t want to be a bother.”  
“Oh, you’re no bother, son.”  
‘That’s not the message you gave me as a child,’ Axl thought, bristling. ‘You couldn’t stand to be around me.’  
Stephen turned around and said, “Sharon, look who’s here. It’s Billy.”  
Axl’s mother dropped the bread into the shopping cart and rushed forward to hug him.  
“Oh, Billy, we’ve missed you.”  
‘I guess that’s why I never get phone calls from you two,’ Axl thought.  
“I’ve missed you too. I’ll only be here for about a week. I was hoping to see Amy and Stuart too while I’m here.”  
“Oh, they would be delighted to see you,” Sharon said. “What brings you to town?”  
“I’m visiting with Izzy. He wanted to see his family too, so we came out here together.”  
“You always were close to him. I’m glad you two are still friends. It always helps remind you where you come from to have a childhood friend close by,” Sharon said.  
‘A reminder is the last thing I need,’ Axl thought, as he fought to keep his emotions in check. The pretense that everything was fine and that his was a happy family made him want to scream.  
“You should join us for dinner tonight,” Stephen said.  
Axl hesitated, and stuttering a bit, he said, “You know I would, but-“  
“No buts,” Sharon replied. “You’re coming over tonight. Be home at seven.”  
Before Axl could respond, they walked away, leaving him standing in the aisle an anxious mess.  
‘Well, I’m fucked,’ he thought. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, then finished the rest of his shopping before heading back to Izzy’s house.

Izzy was sitting silently in his therapy session waiting for the counselor to speak. He waited for what felt like ages before the counselor, Timothy asked, “What would you like to talk about today, Jeffrey?”  
“Nothing. I feel good today.” The clock was ticking. They were only fifteen minutes into a sixty-minute session.  
“Well, we have to talk about something. You mentioned last time that writing was helping you stay clean. Are you still writing?”  
“Yeah, I’m writing a lot.”  
Timothy stared at him, expecting him to say more.  
“So, can I go now?” Izzy asked.  
“We still have forty-five minutes.”  
Izzy considered lying and telling his counselor that he had a bad craving the day before, but that could lead to the center prolonging his stay, so he just sat quietly, feeling very awkward.  
“You know,” the Timothy began, “sometimes when we have a craving for drugs, it’s actually a mask for something else we’re craving, or something we’re trying to run away from. Which one would you say applies to you?”  
“Well, I mostly do drugs when I’m bored, so I guess I’m craving something.”  
“Interesting.”  
“Why is that interesting?” Izzy asked.  
“Well, if you were merely bored, wouldn’t you just write songs like you’ve been doing here?”  
“Writing isn’t my whole life. It’s part of my job.”  
“And yet, it’s enough to keep you sober. So perhaps you’re running away from something instead.”  
“I don’t have anything to run away from,” Izzy said, not liking where this was going.  
“You mentioned that the first time you did drugs was shortly after you arrived in L.A. You had just left home. Could you have been using drugs to try to cover up homesickness or loneliness?”  
“I don’t really get lonely. I’m in a great relationship. Besides, I O.D.’d here in Indiana, where my family is. Seems kind of counterintuitive, if you ask me.”  
“Let’s talk about your relationship then.”  
“I don’t really want to talk about that,” Izzy said.  
“Why not?” Timothy asked.  
“Because it’s private.”  
“Anything you say in here remains confidential. I have a legal obligation to protect your privacy. What’s her name?”  
Izzy twiddled his thumbs a bit before quietly saying, “He’s a ‘he’, not a ‘she’.”  
“Okay, so what’s his name?”  
“I don’t want to talk about this.”  
“I think you need to, Jeffrey.”  
“Why?” Izzy spat.  
“You’re getting defensive.”  
“No, I’m not. You’re pushing me. I don’t like being pushed around.”  
“No one is pushing you around. I want to talk about your relationship, because I’m sensing some tension there.”  
“You got a problem with me liking guys?”  
“I have no problem with your sexual orientation, Jeffrey, but it sounds like you do. This could be what you’re running away from. You’re using drugs to cover up your own insecurities. Tell me about the first time you did drugs.”  
“It was after a party.”  
“What kind of party? Where were you at?”  
“I was at a big house in a seedy part of L.A. I went in there with some guy I met at a bar. There was loud music and people were having sex in just about every room I went in. This guy showed me how to shoot up, so I tried some smack. The next thing I remember, I was waking up next to him in someone else’s bed.”  
“Do you have any reason to think this man may have hurt you in any way?”  
“No, but I felt really embarrassed, and all I kept thinking of was Axl, and that just made things even more embarrassing.”  
“Who is Axl?” Timothy asked.  
“He’s my boyfriend,” Izzy said quietly.  
“So, you’ve known him for a long time then?”  
“Since high school. All I kept thinking while I was lying in that stranger’s bed was that it should have been Axl beside me, not some guy I had just met. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I just did more heroin. And here we are.”  
“I think we’ve figured out what you’re running away from,” Timothy said.  
“No shit?”  
“There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Jeffrey. Have you ever said to yourself ‘I’m gay’?”  
“Why would I do that?”  
“To acknowledge and accept that part of yourself, and to reaffirm to yourself that it’s okay.”  
“I’ve never done that,” Izzy said.  
“Why don’t we try it now? Just say ‘I’m gay, and that’s perfectly fine.’”  
Izzy stared at Timothy like he’d grown two heads, but after a few seconds, and an encouraging nod from his counselor, he decided to try it.  
“I’m gay, and that’s perfectly fine,” he whispered.  
“Good. Now, keep repeating it until you believe it.” 

Axl put the groceries away, his hands shaking. Really, when he paid attention, he noticed his whole body was shaking. His teeth were on the verge of chattering, and he felt butterflies in his stomach. He couldn’t go to his parents’ house tonight, he just couldn’t. He was much too nervous. Maybe he could just schedule lunch with his siblings. He had just finished putting the milk away when the phone rang. He left the groceries on the counter and answered it.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, it’s me,” Izzy said.  
“Hey, Iz, how are you today?”  
“I don’t know. I feel kind of weird. I think I had one of those breakthrough things in therapy.”  
“Oh, really? That sounds great!”  
“My therapist thinks I do drugs because I’m uncomfortable with being gay.”  
Axl sat down. “You know, babe, I think he’s right. You’ve been really sensitive about our privacy ever since we got together.” Once again, Axl wondered if Izzy was ashamed of him, not necessarily because of Axl himself, but because of Izzy’s own feelings of insecurity.  
“Yeah. I think he’s right too. I’ve never had a breakthrough before. This all just feels very weird. I’m sorry for any pain I might have caused you because of my feelings about myself.  
“You don’t have to apologize, Izzy. You know I love you, and there’s nothing you could do to drive me away.”  
“I know. Will you come out here today?”  
Axl sucked in a nervous breath.  
“Izzy, I ran into Stephen and my mom at the store. They want me to come over for dinner tonight.”  
“Oh,” Izzy said, clearly disappointed.  
“The thing is, I don’t want to go, Izzy. I’m a nervous wreck.”  
“Can you reschedule, maybe for the day we leave to go back to L.A.? You could have lunch with them that day. You could do it at my house, so you’re not on their turf.”  
“I was thinking about it, but the sooner I get it over with, the sooner I’ll feel better.”  
“Let me know if you need anything. Obviously, I can’t leave, but I’m still here for you.”  
“Thanks, Iz. I’ll let you know. By the way, I’m proud of you for all you’ve done these past three weeks. I just want you to know that.”  
“Thanks, Axl. I love you.”  
“I love you too,” Axl said, hanging up the phone.

At 6:50 that evening, Axl found himself knocking on his parents’ front door. He was dressed in the best outfit he had brought with him- a nice long-sleeved shirt and dress pants. His sister, Amy, opened the door and he hugged her.  
“It’s good to see you, Amy.”  
“You should visit more often. I hardly see my big brother anymore.”  
“Maybe you and Stuart could come out to L.A. sometime,” Axl suggested.  
“That would be awesome! Come inside. Dinner’s almost ready.”  
Axl stepped across the threshold and memories of his childhood came rushing back. He looked in the living room and remembered being smacked across the face on the living room floor. He looked down the hallway toward his old bedroom and was reminded of the time he fell out of bed after a nightmare and injured himself.  
“Axl, hello?”  
It was Stuart. He had said something that Axl had missed.  
“I’m sorry, what was that?” Axl asked.  
“I said ‘How have you been’?”  
“Oh, good, thanks. You?”  
“I’m great. College life is treating me well. I graduate next spring.”  
“That’s great, Stuart. I’m happy for you,” Axl said, smiling.  
“Let’s eat,” Amy said.  
Axl noticed Stephen was already sitting at the head of the table, his usual spot, waiting to be served. He sat down opposite Stephen and nodded.  
“Did you say hello to your mother?” Stephen asked.  
“I didn’t want to bother her. I know she’s busy with dinner.”  
Sharon appeared, holding a tray with pot roast on it.  
“She cooks like it’s Thanksgiving every night,” Stephen said. “I’ve got the perfect wife. You should get married, Billy. A good woman stands behind every good man.”  
‘What kind of woman does that make my mother?’ Axl wondered, considering the horrid nature of his stepfather.  
“Oh, but I thought-“ Amy began.  
“Thought what?” Stephen asked.  
“Never mind,” Amy replied.  
“You know I don’t like it when you say that,” Stephen barked. “Now tell me what you were about to say.”  
Amy hesitated. “Only that, I thought Axl was already seeing somebody.”  
“Oh? What’s her name?” Sharon asked.  
“I’m not seeing anyone,” Axl said, getting even more nervous.  
“What made you think he was seeing someone, girl?” Stephen asked.  
“I just saw something in a magazine, that’s all.”  
“You shouldn’t be reading that trash,” Stephen said. “The only thing you should be reading is the scriptures.”  
“Sorry, Daddy,” Amy said meekly.   
“Well, dinner is ready,” Sharon said.  
Amy, Stuart and Sharon sat down, and Stephen folded his hands, his eyes closing as he prepared to pray. Everyone else followed suit. Everyone that is, except Axl. He just looked around at everyone and wondered how they could all look so normal, like everything was okay. In his mind, nothing was okay, and nothing was forgiven.  
“Lord,” Stephen began, “let us thank you for this blessing, and for all of our blessings. Ours is a fortunate family. Thank you for surprising us with our dear son, Billy on this joyous evening. Amen.”  
Axl nearly scoffed. While he was happy to see his siblings, he doubted Stephen was truly happy to see him. He sensed that his dinner invitation was merely out of courtesy to Sharon, rather than a true desire to spend time with him. Stephen opened his eyes and unfolded his hands.   
“Alright, everybody dig in,” Sharon said.  
“So, are you working on any new music?” Stuart asked.  
“Yeah, we’re working on an album now. Izzy and I just came out here to take a break and spend time with family, that’s all.”  
Stephen stared at Axl, remembering his earlier remark in the grocery store, that he wasn’t going to tell anyone he was in town, so as not to bother them.  
Axl knew that stare, and he felt a chill go down his spine. He reminded himself that he was an adult now, and there was nothing that Stephen could do to him.  
“If you wanted to see us, why didn’t you call?” Stephen asked.   
“I was going to. I just got here.”  
Stephen dropped his fork and knife on his plate, and everybody tensed up.  
“That’s a lie, boy, and you know it. Two weeks ago, the police showed up here looking for you.”  
“What?” Sharon said. “What did you do, Billy?”  
“Funny how you automatically assume I’m guilty,” Axl said.  
“It seems he assaulted a man. Typical Billy, you never could keep your nose clean.”  
“My name is not Billy. It’s Axl.”  
“A court document does not change the fact that you’ll always be Billy. I don’t care what some judge says.”  
“Then it seems you have just about as much respect for the law as I do,” Axl said, raising his voice.  
“That’s enough, you will not speak to me that way at my own table!” Stephen yelled.  
“I’m not the little boy you used to know. You can’t hurt me anymore. The Billy you knew is gone.”  
“Amy,” Stephen implored, “What was her name?”  
“Whose name?” Amy asked.  
“The girl in the tabloid. What was her name? She should know what a little deceitful punk she’s dating.”  
“Um, I don’t remember,” Amy lied.  
“I can still hurt you, Billy, don’t you ever forget that. I can still make you suffer. I’m going to tell her all about how you have the devil in you, you little punk.”  
“I think he already knows!” Axl shouted, before he could stop himself.  
“He?” Stephen asked, his blood boiling.  
Axl went pale, only just realizing what he had said.  
Sharon crossed herself and a lone tear streamed down Amy’s face. Stuart bowed his head in sadness, knowing this would cause a rift in his family that would probably never heal. It was the final nail in the coffin.  
“I’m sorry, Axl,” Amy said.  
“It’s not your fault, Amy.”  
Stephen pointed his finger at Axl and said, “I’ll bet it’s that Isbell boy. What’s his name? Jack?”  
“Jeffrey. His name is Jeffrey,” Axl replied. “And this is none of your goddamn business.”  
“You come here to my house, insult me, tell me you’re sinning against nature, and then you take the lord’s name in vain? Get out of my house. Get out now!”  
Sharon put her hand on Stephen’s arm. “Stephen, please, we hardly see him. Please don’t send him away.”  
Stephen shook her hand off his arm. “Get out, boy.”  
Axl stood up. “Amy, Stuart, it was good to see you. Mom, I don’t know what you see in him, but I hope you’re at least happy with him. Stephen, you can go to hell. I’m never stepping foot inside this house again.” Axl stormed out, speeding down the street towards Izzy’s house, fighting back tears. He had been happy to see his siblings again, but now he didn’t know when he would see them next. He arrived at Izzy’s house, a place that was starting to feel like home. He went inside, dressed in pajamas, then went to bed and cried.


	12. Chapter 12

Axl woke up the next morning to someone banging on the front door. He groaned and got out of bed. As he made his way downstairs, he could hear a woman shouting, “Billy!” It sounded like his mother. As he got closer to the door, he was sure it was his mother. She sounded frantic. “Billy!”  
He opened the door to find her standing on the front porch, sobbing. “He’s dead.”  
Axl stopped breathing for a moment. ‘Which ‘he’’, Axl wondered. ‘Stuart or Stephen?’ He hoped to God it wasn’t Stuart.  
“Stephen is dead,” Sharon sobbed.  
Axl let out a breath of relief. “What happened?”  
“I found him dead when I woke up this morning. He was just lying in bed, not breathing. The coroner thinks it was a heart attack.”  
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Axl lied.  
Sharon stopped sobbing and pointed her finger at him angrily. “You did this to him,” she growled. “You killed my husband.”  
“Me? What did I do?”  
“You upset him last night,” Sharon said.  
“Well, it wasn’t the first time I did that,” Axl spat back.  
Sharon slapped him across the face. It stung, and Axl had to fight the urge not to turn around and go back inside, before he started shouting.  
“This is your fault, Billy.”  
“I’m not Billy, and this was not my fault,” Axl said through clenched teeth. “I’m sorry for your loss, but I don’t know what you want from me.”  
“I want an apology.”  
“For what? Insulting him or allegedly killing him?”  
“Both.”  
“Fine, I’m sorry for insulting him, but if it was a heart attack, then his own anger is the reason he’s dead.”  
“You’ve gone too far this time, Billy. You should be ashamed of yourself.”  
“Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not ashamed.”  
“You never could swallow your pride, could you? You never could just be a good boy, just do what Stephen said. He was right, you have the devil in you. You’re just like your father. Getting involved with him was the worst mistake I ever made.” With that, she turned around and left.  
That statement stung Axl more than her slap had. She had basically just told him she wished he had never been born, and that he was a disappointment of a son. He suspected she had felt this way for some time, now she had just confirmed it.  
“Nice seeing you, Mom,” he said to himself, as he watched her start her car and pull away.  
Axl went back inside and got dressed, deciding to skip breakfast for the day. He picked up the phone and dialed the number for Izzy’s room at the rehab center. He picked up on the third ring.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, Izzy, can I come see you?”  
“Of course, you can. Always. What’s going on, you seem upset? Oh, and what happened at dinner?”  
“I basically told Stephen to fuck off. Sharon was just here, and she said Stephen is dead.”  
Izzy leaned in closer to the phone and whispered, “What the hell happened?”  
“She said he had a heart attack in his sleep. She’s blaming me for his death.”  
“Jesus. Axl, you have to know it wasn’t your fault.”  
“I know that, but she basically just told me she wished I had never been born.”  
“I’m so sorry, Axl. Are you okay?  
“I will be. Listen, will I be interrupting anything if I come out there?”  
“Not at all. When will you be here?”  
“About an hour. I’ll leave as soon as we get off the phone.”  
“Well, then I guess it’s goodbye for now. I’ll see you soon.”  
“Goodbye, Izzy.”

Axl got in the car and rolled the windows down, turning the music on full blast. He really didn’t care who he bothered with the noise. He needed to get his mother’s words out of his head. ‘You have the devil in you…worst mistake I ever made.’ Axl pushed on the gas and sped all the way to the rehab center. He arrived in less than forty-five minutes. He walked through the doors and wound his way through the center. As soon as he rounded the corner into Izzy’s room, Izzy sprang up out of his chair and wrapped Axl in a big hug.  
“For what it’s worth,” he said, “I’m glad you were born.”  
“Thanks, Izzy,” Axl said, returning the hug.  
“You must be in shock,” Izzy said.  
“Actually, I don’t feel much of anything right now. Just anger at my mother for her accusation and for what she said to me about my father.”  
“What did she say about your father?”  
“That I’m just like him.”  
“No, you aren’t. He was an abusive asshole who didn’t give a shit about you. You’re not like that.”  
“She said I have the devil in me,” Axl said.  
“You have a temper, sure, but you’re not evil. Come on, Axl,” Izzy said, squeezing his arm, “you’re a better person than your mother or either of your fathers realize. Your mother is just devastated and in shock and she’s taking it out on you. That’s not fair to you.”  
“I don’t know if I can go to the funeral, especially with Sharon hating me right now.”  
“Well, when is the funeral?” Izzy asked.  
“I don’t know. Probably next weekend.”  
“I’ll be out of here by then. I can go with you.”  
“Would you?”  
“Of course. I’m always here for you, Axl.”  
“I guess I need to buy clothes for the funeral. I’ll need a suit.”  
“I have a few in my closet at home that might fit you.”  
“I’ll check them out later. What have you been up to?”  
“Nothing, really. I’ve hit a roadblock in my writing.”  
“Maybe I can help you with that,” Axl suggested.  
Izzy looked at him with concern.  
“Really. It’ll help take my mind off things.”  
“Okay. Let me show you what I’ve got so far,” Izzy relented.

They spent the next few hours working on songs, with Izzy on the guitar and Axl humming out new tunes while furiously scribbling lyrics on a pad of paper. Izzy could tell Axl was getting frustrated, as he kept marking out words and writing new ones down, only to huff and scribble out the new lyrics. Izzy stopped playing his guitar and put it to the side.   
“It’s almost lunchtime. Why don’t we take a break?” he suggested.  
Axl shook his head silently and followed Izzy to the cafeteria.  
They were sitting at a table eating French fries and drinking milkshakes when Axl finally spoke up.  
“You know, I don’t even think I can look sad at the funeral. I can’t fake it, Iz.”  
“You don’t have to. Everybody processes grief differently. They’ll probably just think you’re numb or in shock.”  
“I guess so. As long as they don’t expect me to give the eulogy.”   
Izzy winced. “I hadn’t thought of that. As the oldest child, they might want you to. You could always write something out and have a priest read it. You’re a good writer, I’m sure you could come up with some bullshit about how you’re going to miss him and shit.”  
“Yeah, I think I’ll do that. What would I do without you, Izzy?”  
“You would survive. You’re stronger and smarter than you think.”  
Axl shrugged and finished his milkshake. “Let’s not put that theory to the test.” Axl sighed. “I just can’t get Sharon’s words out of my head. How can a parent wish their child had never been born?”  
“Some people just aren’t meant to be parents, Axl.”  
“Did you ever think about having kids?”  
“When I was young, I thought I would have a wife and kids. Then, in high school, I realized I had feelings for you, and I just kind of assumed it would never happen. I don’t know, what about you?”  
“I like kids,” Axl began, “but I don’t know if I want any. I would probably just screw them up.”  
“But you would love them. That’s half the job.”  
“Yeah, I would.”

Later that afternoon, Axl went back to Izzy’s house and rummaged through his closets until he found the suits that Izzy had mentioned. He tried them both on and put the one he liked the best aside for future use. He decided to call Stuart and Amy. Assuming they were at his mother’s house in the wake of Stephen’s death, he dialed her number. She answered quickly and he could tell that she was still crying.  
“It’s me,” Axl said. “Are Stuart and Amy there?”  
Without another word, Sharon handed the phone to Stuart.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, it’s Axl. I just wanted to tell you and Amy that I’m sorry about Stephen. I know we didn’t always get along, but he was your dad, and I’m sorry you’ve lost him.”  
“Thanks, Axl. I know there was no love lost between you, so I really appreciate you calling.”  
“Have you guys picked a date for the funeral yet?” Axl asked.  
“It’s next Saturday. We expect a lot of people from the church to be there. Dad was a guiding light for a lot of them.”  
“Yeah, I’m sure he was,” Axl said, rolling his eyes. “Have you decided who’s giving the eulogy?”  
“Mom thought it would be best if I did it,” Stuart said.  
“She’s probably right. I would just fuck it up. Listen, if you or Amy need anything, I’m here, okay?”  
“Thanks, Axl.”  
“I’ll see you guys Saturday.”  
Axl hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn’t have to give the eulogy after all. ‘How did I get so lucky?’, he wondered.

Axl spent the next few days with Izzy, doing his best to write songs and trying to stay positive about the upcoming funeral. Axl was nervous, Izzy could tell. Despite telling him several times that he didn’t have to do it, Axl insisted that he was going to the funeral. On Friday morning, Izzy was given the all clear to leave rehab. Axl was there to pick him up. The checkout process went smoothly, and the staff wished Izzy luck. They handed him a certificate in recognition of thirty days clean. Phil shook Izzy’s hand and said, “I’m sorry to see you go, but I’m glad you made it through, man.”  
“Thanks, Phil. I never want to see another needle again. That last time was too close of a call.”  
Izzy and Axl walked out of the front door together, and Axl took Izzy’s hand in his as they walked to the car.  
“So, what do you want to do to celebrate?” Axl asked.  
“I think I just want to go home. I miss sleeping in my own bed, watching T.V. in my own living room. And the food here sucks.”  
Axl laughed. “Yeah, those fries were pretty gross.”   
Izzy put his guitar case in the back seat, and they drove away, back to Lafayette.  
“Ah, freedom,” Izzy said, as they sped down the highway. He had his window down, the air whipping his hair around his face.  
“It’ll be nice to have you home,” Axl said. “It’s boring and lonely without you there.”  
“I should’ve told you where I hid all the joints.”  
Axl did a double take.  
“Kidding. I don’t have drugs of any kind at home.”  
“Good. Also, I threw out all of your alcohol.”  
“That’s probably for the best. I get stupid when I drink.”

When they got back home, Izzy practically ran up to the door, leaving Axl laughing once again. They went inside and Izzy put his guitar in the corner, then flopped down on the sofa, letting out a long, contented sigh.  
“Come sit with me,” he said.  
Axl sat down on the couch and Izzy pulled him close so that Axl’s head was lying in Izzy’s lap. He ran his fingers through Axl’s hair, both of them staying like that for a while, enjoying the moment.  
“I’m glad you’re home, Izzy. I missed you.”  
“I missed you too. What’s wrong, Axl? You’re tense, I can feel it.”  
“I’m just worried about the funeral.”  
“You don’t-“  
“Don’t have to go, I know. I just- I just need the closure. I need to see for myself that he’s really dead.”  
Izzy continued stroking Axl’s hair, and he leaned down and planted a kiss on Axl’s forehead.  
“Come here,” Axl said, pulling Izzy down for a kiss on the lips. “I really missed you,” Axl said, looking somewhat embarrassed.  
“I really missed you too,” Izzy said, smiling. He kept stroking Axl’s hair, and soon, Axl was asleep. Izzy hadn’t realized he was that tired, but looking closer, he could see extra lines on Axl’s face. He had deeper wrinkles under his eyes and on his forehead, and dark circles were starting to form. Izzy knew Axl hated going to bed alone, and he figured Axl was lying awake at night, tossing and turning, unable to settle down.  
“I’m home now,” Izzy whispered, and Axl sighed and seemed to relax more. “I’m home, and I’m never leaving you again.”


	13. Chapter 13

Axl stood in the shower, staring at the floor. He let the water run over his head and down his body, then circle in the drain below. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been in there. Time seemed to stand still. He felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped.  
“Axl?” Izzy had moved the shower curtain back and reached in. “We have to be at the funeral home in thirty minutes.” He was already dressed, his suit and tie looked strange on him, Axl thought. He’d only ever seen Izzy in casual clothes.  
Axl nodded.  
“Are you okay, Axl?”  
“Yeah. I’ll be out soon.”   
Izzy pulled the shower curtain closed and Axl washed quickly, then got out and dried his hair, cursing himself for having such long hair when he was already running late.  
Izzy brought Axl’s suit into the bathroom and took the hair dryer from him.  
“We don’t have time for that, we’re gonna be late. Here, put this on,” he said, handing Axl a shirt.  
“I like it better when you tell me to take my clothes off,” Axl quipped, while buttoning the shirt.  
“So do I, but for now, there’s no time. Step into these,” Izzy said, holding Axl’s boxers out for him.  
“You know, I can dress myself.”  
“Do you want to get there on time, or not?” Izzy asked, giving Axl a stern look.  
“Fine, Dad.”  
Axl finished dressing and Izzy ushered him out the door, into the car. The drive to the funeral home was a silent one. Axl was filled with dread, a feeling that only increased the closer they got to their destination. For a minute, Axl thought he was going to be sick, and he had to roll the window down for relief.  
“You okay over there?” Izzy asked.  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need some air.”  
Izzy pulled into the parking lot and into an empty space. Axl was sweating now, the nausea coming back in waves. ‘I have to do this,’ he thought. ‘I have to know he’s really dead. That he can’t hurt me anymore.’ Axl rolled the window up and stepped out of the car. Izzy was close behind.  
“I just want you to know, if at any time you need to leave, just say the word, and we’re out of here.”  
“Thanks, Izzy. I appreciate you coming with me today. It means a lot.”  
Izzy gave his hand a squeeze before they turned and headed inside.

The funeral home smelled like apple spice, thanks to the air fresheners that seemed to be littered throughout the building. It only made Axl more queasy. He had always hated that smell. It wasn’t long before people from the church, from his childhood, started coming up to him and giving their condolences.  
“No matter what I was going through, your father always knew what to say. He had such a calming presence,” one woman had told him. Axl didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. His stepfather was anything but calm at home. In the end, he settled on a fake smile and a “Thank you.”  
“Come on, Izzy,” Axl whispered. “I need to see the bastard.”  
They walked through a few more rooms that were thronged with people, before finally stepping into a dimly lit room. Family and close friends were gathered around, speaking in hushed tones. Axl saw the casket at the front of the room and slowly tiptoed over to it. He didn’t miss the death glare his mother gave him as he made his way across the room. He expected to feel relief once he got to the casket. Instead he felt…nothing. He peered inside the casket and saw his stepfather wearing his Sunday best, his eyes closed, looking as though he was just sleeping. A single thought ran through Axl’s head, and he leaned in. To onlookers, it would seem as if he were a son saying a final goodbye to his father. Instead, Axl whispered, “I’ll see you in hell, motherfucker.”   
He felt a strange sense of satisfaction once he had said that, and he wondered if that made him a bad person. Then he discovered, he didn’t really care. He stood back up, giving Stephen one final glance before sitting down in the front row of chairs, motioning for Izzy to join him. The service was due to start soon, and he wanted a front row seat as everyone said their final goodbyes to the man who still tormented him, even in death.  
His mother made it a point to sit on the other end of the row of seats, facing forward, ignoring him. Axl was still hurt and pissed at her for all of the things she had said to him, so he didn’t want to sit next to her either. Amy and Stuart sat next to Sharon, Amy giving Axl an apologetic shrug. He nodded back, letting her know it was okay, that he didn’t bear any ill will against her. People started filing in, taking their places inside the room. Once everyone was settled, the pastor from the next town over walked up tot the podium and greeted the mass of people.  
“Welcome, everyone. It is with sadness that we gather here today to remember Stephen Bailey, husband,” he said, looking at Sharon, “father,” he continued, looking at Axl, Amy and Stuart, “and pillar of the community. Stephen was an essential part of this town, serving the people with grace and selflessness…”  
As the pastor continued talking, Axl zoned out. Memories were flooding in faster than he could process them. Stephen shouting at him over a misspelled word in first grade, being whipped with a belt at age nine for forgetting bible verses, countless slaps and punches all over his body. The time in sixth grade when Axl walked around school wincing, sure that the pain he was feeling was from a broken rib. Struggling to breathe through that pain. He realized he was struggling to breathe now. He felt a sharp pain on his legs and realized he was digging his nails into his legs, just above the knees. Izzy must have noticed that something was wrong, because he was reaching for Axl’s hand when Axl bolted up and made a beeline for the bathroom. As he was leaving the room, he saw that Stuart was the one at the podium now. ‘When had that happened?’ Axl wondered.  
He twisted and turned down the hallway until he found the restroom, quickly locking himself inside and turning on the faucet to splash cold water on his face. No sooner had he turned the water on than he heard a hand banging against the door.  
“Axl?”  
Axl barely noticed. He just stared at the running water as if it held some answer as to why he had been singled out to be Stephen’s punching bag.  
‘Because I’m not his,’ Axl thought. ‘Every time he looked at me, he saw another man. Another man that Sharon had been with.’  
“Axl, open the door!”  
The knob rattled, and Axl realized it was Izzy’s voice he was hearing.  
He turned off the water and reached for the handle with shaking hands, unlocking it. Izzy was inside the bathroom before Axl could blink, closing the door and locking it behind him.  
“Axl, talk to me.”  
His breath was still coming in ragged pants, and he was beginning to feel lightheaded. “I-“ Axl began, before sinking to the floor, spots of black and white sparkling before his eyes. He was sure he was about to faint. Izzy caught him before he could hit his head on anything, sinking down with him, cradling him and rocking back and forth.  
“It’s okay, Axl. He can’t hurt you anymore.”  
It was as if Izzy was reading his mind.  
“The pain, Izzy. So much pain. Why me?”  
“Because he was a troubled man. It had nothing to do with you,” he said, gently caressing Axl’s sweaty forehead.  
“I’m gonna faint, Izzy.”  
“No, you aren’t. Just breathe with me. In and out. Slowly.”  
Axl did as he was told, mimicking Izzy’s lazy breaths. He started to calm down after about thirty seconds, his pounding heart slowing down, the shaking subsiding. He found it very telling of his family situation that no one else had come looking for him. He gripped Izzy’s arms where they were wrapped around his chest, holding on for dear life.  
“Just breathe, Ax.”  
Axl nodded and continued breathing. He knew there was no way he could stay for the rest of the funeral or follow the congregation out to the burial site.  
“Izzy, I think I need to leave.”  
“We will, just as soon as you can walk. Do you think you can sit up?”  
Izzy relaxed his grip, and Axl bolted upright, the spots before his eyes coming back.  
“Whoa, easy.”  
Axl leaned against the wall until he could see, then, very slowly, he stood up, Izzy right behind him in case he fell again.  
“I think I can walk now.”  
“Okay, let’s go,” Izzy said, unlocking the door and winding his arm around Axl’s. Together, they slowly walked out of the funeral home, and got back in the car. Axl rolled the window down again and let the tears flow.  
When the car stopped, Axl noticed they were not at Izzy’s house. Actually, they weren’t too far from Izzy’s childhood home. Axl knew immediately where they were going. Izzy got out of the car and took his suit jacket off, rolling up he sleeves afterwards.  
“Come on, Axl. Up and at it.”  
Axl got out of the car and ditched his jacket too, following Izzy down a hill and through a mass of trees. When they reached the clearing, Axl saw the train tracks.  
“I used to come here to get high when I was a teenager, we all did. But nobody else found my secret hiding spot.”  
Axl had expected him to stop at the old, abandoned tracks, but instead, Izzy kept walking. They went through another mass of trees until Axl could hear water. Izzy pushed some brush aside, and Axl could see a small river, the water running over rocks, creating a soothing rippling sound. Izzy sat down on a rock that was big enough for two people, if they sat close enough together.  
“Have a seat,” Izzy said. “It’s beautiful here.”  
Axl could hear birds chirping, could see them flitting about in the trees. A frog let out a loud “ribbit,” before jumping into the water.  
“I used to come here on really bad days. Something about the permanence and simplicity of nature made all of my momentary problems seem smaller. I thought maybe it would help you,” he said with a shrug. Axl sat down next to him and leaned his head on Izzy’s shoulder.   
“Thank you, Izzy. This means a lot to me.”  
Axl breathed in the fresh air, the smell of dirt and water, and relaxed.  
“It is peaceful here.”  
They sat in silence for a long while, Axl’s stress melting away, until he was almost falling asleep on Izzy’s shoulder.  
“Come on, Axl. Let’s get you home.”  
“Home. That sounds nice.”

Izzy pulled into the driveway and turned off the ignition. “You know, I was thinking, maybe I should move away from L.A.”  
Axl felt his breath catch, worrying that Izzy would up and leave him alone in California.  
“You would leave California? What about the band?” ‘What about me?’ Axl thought.  
“No, not California. Just L.A. I can’t stay in the house I’m in now. My dealer has that address. I was thinking something just outside L.A., in a quiet neighborhood.”  
“That sounds nice,” Axl said, still a bit nervous.  
“I was thinking, maybe, we could get a place together,” Izzy said.  
Axl’s heart skipped a beat.  
“Our house?”  
“Yeah, ours,” Izzy replied.  
Axl didn’t hesitate before leaning over and giving Izzy a deep kiss.  
“So, I guess that’s a ‘yes’?”  
“Definitely,” Axl replied.  
“I was also thinking that we need a vacation.”  
“Isn’t that what this was supposed to be?”  
“Yes, but rehab and a funeral do not make a vacation. We could take another month or two off. The guys would be fine without us for now.”  
“I could use a vacation. Somewhere far, far away from here,” Axl said, looking at his surroundings.  
“Pack your bags, then. We’re going to the airport.”  
“Now?”   
“Well, in the morning,” Izzy said.  
“What are you thinking, Izzy?” Axl asked playfully.  
“I’m thinking we’re going to have an adventure,” he said, smiling.  
“Better do as I’m told, I guess. I’ll pack my things now.”  
They got out of the car and went inside, Izzy close behind Axl. He was excited, Axl could tell. Izzy loved travelling, and Axl loved being around Izzy, so he couldn’t help but be excited as well about their impending ‘adventure.’ Axl packed bags for both of them while Izzy made lunch.  
“All finished?” Izzy asked when Axl reappeared thirty minutes later.  
“Yep. We’re all set to head to… where are we going exactly?”  
“Well, that’s half the fun of it. I have no idea.”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yeah. That’s how I travel. I go to the airport, and I pick a destination. I don’t plan ahead,” Izzy stated, matter-of-factly.   
“Of course, you don’t. What did you make for lunch?”  
“Spaghetti and salad.”  
“Sounds good. I’m starving.”

Later that night, Axl was lying awake in bed, unable to sleep. He tossed and turned, his mind going a mile a minute. He was excited about their upcoming vacation, but nervous because he didn’t have a clue where he would be by this time tomorrow.  
“I can hear you thinking over there,” Izzy said.  
“Sorry. Can’t sleep.”  
“Maybe I can help you with that,” he said, as he rolled Axl over so that they were facing each other. He leaned in, brushed Axl’s hair out of the way and planted soft kisses along his neck, moving down to his collarbone.  
“Damn, Izzy, that feels good.”  
Izzy took that as encouragement, and stopped long enough to remove Axl’s shirt, gently pushing him onto his back. He trailed kisses down Axl’s chest, then to his abdomen, sticking his tongue in Axl’s navel. When he reached in Axl’s pajama pants and grabbed hold of his cock, Axl moaned.  
“Shit.”  
Izzy started pumping Axl slowly. Axl looked down at where Izzy was touching him, let out a sigh, and plopped his head back down on the pillow, his hips rising to meet Izzy’s grip. He ran a hand through Izzy’s hair, and Izzy joined him at the head of the bed, giving Axl lazy kisses, and Axl knew tonight would be slow, savored.   
“I need to feel you inside of me, Izzy,” he whispered.  
Izzy gave him one final kiss before taking off his own shirt. Axl took his pajama pants off and Izzy rid himself of his boxers. Axl flipped them over so that he was on top of Izzy. He sat on Izzy’s stomach, running his fingers down his torso, lightly scratching. Izzy shivered and Axl did it again, harder this time.  
“Fuck, baby.”  
Axl leaned in and kissed Izzy while lowering himself onto Izzy’s cock. When Axl lowered himself completely, taking all of him in, Izzy whimpered. “Does that feel good, baby?”  
“Always. Fuck, you’re tight.”   
Axl started moving, and Izzy moved with him, both of them taking their time, enjoying the moment. It had been over a week since they’d made love, back in that seedy hotel room, and they were becoming desperate for each other. Axl picked up the pace, and Izzy followed suit. They seemed to fit together so perfectly, seemed to know just what the other one needed, wanted. Before long, Axl was breathing raggedly, and Izzy was flushed from head to toe. Axl knew he was close and struggled to keep himself from coming until Izzy was finished. It took only a few more thrusts, and Izzy was moaning, spilling his hot seed inside of Axl. Axl let go and came shortly after, collapsing onto Izzy, then rolling them over so that they were facing each other, Izzy still inside Axl.  
“I love you, baby,” Axl said.  
“I love you too, Ax.”

In the morning, they took a shower together, throwing soap bubbles at each other playfully and washing each other’s hair, before grabbing their suitcases and heading to the airport. They’d gotten the all clear from the rest of the band earlier that morning. They could handle recording their parts without Izzy and Axl around. As they drove, Axl felt a sense of freedom he had not felt in a long time. Maybe it was their impending vacation, maybe it was knowing that he’d never hear an insult from Stephen again, but he felt lighter somehow. He hadn’t bothered saying goodbye to his family. They could keep on being dysfunctional without him. He looked over at Izzy, who was positively giddy. An oldies station was playing on the radio and Izzy was singing along in that lazy way that he sings. Axl thought the way Izzy sang was sexy, and he told him so.  
“I guess I’ll have to sing around you more often.”  
“Don’t let me stop you,” Axl said. “Keep going, Iz.”  
They reached the airport after a long drive. Izzy parked his car in the long-term parking section, and they took a bus to the terminal.  
Okay, here’s how this works,” Izzy said, putting his suitcase on the ground. “You’re going to close your eyes, and I’m going to spin you around.”  
“What?”  
“Close your eyes, Ax.”  
Axl did as he was told.  
“No peeking. Now, I’m going to spin you around. You ready?”  
“Why the hell not?”  
Izzy spun Axl around at least six times.  
“I’m getting dizzy. When does this part end?”  
“Now,” Izzy said. “Keep your eyes closed.” He put his hands over Axl’s eyes to make sure he didn’t cheat. “Now, stick out your arm and point. Wherever you point to, that’s where we’re going.”  
“Okayyyy.” Axl stuck his arm out and pointed. Izzy was silent.  
“Where are we going?”  
Izzy removed his hands and Axl opened his eyes. He was pointing at Los Angeles.  
“Let’s try this again,” Izzy said. He spun Axl around some more, making him laugh. “Okay, point, and open your eyes.”  
Axl pointed. “Did I hit L.A. again?”  
“See for yourself.”  
Axl opened his eyes and grinned. He looked over at Izzy, who looked at him, smiling. This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, and for your kind comments. If I come up with a storyline for a sequel, I clue you in to where Izzy and Axl are going on vacation. Until then, I'll let you use your own imaginations : )


End file.
